Port Chuck 2000 Epilogue

Lucky & Emily Unlimited

 

Next Day in Spencerdom

Sheets and bodies entangled, an out of breath Emily lies with her head on Lucky's chest. "Hmmmm. I could really get used to this first thing in the morning."

Lucky runs a light hand up her spine from her waist to her neck. He has to agree. This time with her first thing in the morning is precious, and hands down his favorite way to start the day. "Hmm, not that I'm complaining or anything, but tell me again why you didn't spend the night? Wouldn't waking up here be even better?"

Emily traces a circular pattern in the light smattering of hair on Lucky's chest. "At the moment I can't think anything I'd like more than waking up next to you." Emily closes her eyes and whimpers. "I don't want to go to class this morning."

"Then don't." Lucky lifts her chin with his forefinger so he can give her a slow long wet kiss that goes on forever. Finally he's forced to end the kiss so they can breathe. "Stay with me, Em," He urges before finding the sensitive hollow of throat and smiling when she gasps. Rolling her over so he is lying on top of her, his hands thread with hers beside her head so that she's at his complete mercy. "We don't have to leave this bed all day."

Not standing a chance, Emily groans between kisses. "You don't play fair, Lucky Spencer... not... fair ... at all."

"And that's one of things you love about me, Em."

"I love everything about you, Lucky Spencer," Emily corrects as they join together as one. "Everything."



Lying on his back looking at the ceiling, with Emily curled into his side, Lucky breaks the silence. "I still can't believe it."

"Who would have thought Stefan would crack like that?" Emily wonders. "He has so much to live for. Laura, Nikolas, Lulu, even the hope of finding Richard. Why would he want to kill himself?"

"Nikolas said that Stefan wasn't making a lot of sense. It had something to do with being cursed and wanting to protect my mom and Lulu." Lucky presses a kiss into her soft brown hair. "Personally, I think that's just an excuse."

"An excuse? That doesn't make sense."

"No, think about it for a minute. How would you feel if we had a child and our child was taken from us? Wouldn't you want to die?"

Emily shivers. "It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it."

"Well I've thought a lot about it since Richard disappeared. I can't say I wouldn't be where Stefan is if it happened to me. To be so helpless? To see your wife and everyone around you suffer? I don't know if I could take it. I think he used this curse as a justification to do what he wanted, to check out."

"Thank God Laura and Nikolas found him."

"Can you imagine what this would have done to my Mom? To Lulu?" Lucky presses his lips together in a grim line. "When I think about that, I want to kick his ass. To kill him myself."

"He's ill, Lucky."

"I know. Which is why I'm not over there right now giving him a once over." Lucky squeezes Emily against him. "I'm glad I have you. You balance me out."

In return, Emily plants a kiss on Lucky's chest. "And you bring out my wild and adventurous side. We're good for each other."

"Your parents would say I'm anything but good for you." Lucky drags Emily up on top of him so they are eye to eye. He kisses her, framing her face with his hands. "I've come to a decision."

"This sounds big." Emily turns her head so she's kissing the palm of his hand. She loves how he is constantly touching her, it makes her feel cherished.

"I've decided to stop living in the past. I want to move on, towards my future. You're my future, Emily. I'm sure of it. I'm done being angry about things I can't change, at my mom, at Stefan, at my dad ... at myself."

Emily's eyes widen with surprise. "I didn't know you were angry with with your dad."

"I have been all along," Lucky admits. "Except that it's not easy being angry with someone who's dead. It wasn't until I forgave my mom that I realized how angry I was."

"That must have been some powerful conversation with your mom."

"We really cleared the air for the first time since Dad died." Lucky smiles. "I have you and Carly to thank for that. It wasn't until after my mom left that I realized I was still really mad. And not at my mom this time. I was angry at my dad."

The realization dawns on Emily. "Because he died on you."

"Yeah, isn't that nuts?" Lucky asks, still bewildered by the realization. "I feel guilty even admitting it. I mean, really, he got shot several times, he fought like hell to live, I know he did. What right do I have to be angry with him?"

"I felt the same way when my mom died," Emily answers with a faraway look in her eye. The pain, the loss is always there, deep down. She feels it even now. While it wouldn't ever go away completely, she had learned to live on, to even be happy. "I was angry because she left me when I needed her. And then I felt guilty because she was dead. It's not like she had any choice."

"I went to see my dad's grave after the talk with my mom. It helped because it's the closest thing to having a heart to heart talk with him." Lucky's eyes mist a bit. "I can still hear his voice, and even guess what he'd say. It felt like he was almost there."

Emily lays her head on his chest. She'd had this experience with her own mom the first year or two after she died. Those conversations had helped her too. "Did you tell him how you felt?"

"Yeah, I did. Yelled at him even. I know I scared a few old folks who walked by. But it was good. It was there I thought about my future. Really thought about what it would look like without my dad in it. And even though there are a lot of blank spots in it, one thing is crystal clear." Lucky looks straight into Emily's eyes. "No matter what my life brings, I want you in it. Permanently."

Emily is awed, even a little afraid of what Lucky is saying. "Wow. I--

Running his thumb along her soft lips, Lucky continues, "I love you, Emily. I didn't think it was possible for me to love anyone as much as I love you. But it gets better and better every day. I'm happier and more at peace when I'm with you. You keep me sane, you make me a better person."

Feeling the panic rise, Emily tries to stop him. They had been down this road before. "Lucky, wait..."

"I want you, Emily. Not just for an hour here and there. I want to wake up with you beside me every morning. I want to sleep with you in my arms." Lucky threads his fingers with hers so their palms meet. "Will you move in with me, Emily?"

Emily stops breathing for a second as her brain catches up with her feelings. "What... you mean.. move in with you.. here?"

"Yeah. Here. There's lots of room for both of us. I know it's too soon to talk about marriage. I won't pressure you like that again."

Emily breathes in shakily. "Woah. Didn't see that one coming. You really want me to move in?"

Lucky runs a hand down her spine, relishing the feel of her soft skin. "Yes, very much."

Emily sighs and closes her eyes, trying to hide from his scrutiny. Oh boy. Now what? "I'm very tempted."

Lucky hears what she isn't saying. "But?"

"Who said there was a 'but'?" Emily hedges, even though in her heart she knows the answer. The thought of saying no to Lucky again terrifies her. Would he be hurt and leave her again? What if he thinks she doesn't love him? Emily wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him fiercely. She can't lose him. Not again, not when they are so so happy. Not when they had worked to hard to rebuild their relationship.

Lucky returns her intense hug, feeling her fear and wishing he could take back his words. Why did he always push too hard when things were good between them? "I scared you, didn't I?"

Emily fights against the rising panic. "I..." She swallows the lump in her throat. She would lose him again if she said no. He would be hurt. She couldn't do this again. "I love you so much, Lucky..."

Lucky rolls over, enveloping her completely in his arms, trying the best he can to reassure her. "It's okay, Emily. Really. I understand." He feels the dampness of her tears before he hears the choked sob. "Damn! What's wrong with me. Please don't cry, Sweetheart. Please! Just forget I asked, okay? But don't cry." He rocks her gently.

"I'm such a blubbering idiot," Emily says against his chest.

"No, Emily. You are beautiful and loving and intelligent..." Lucky strokes her hair, swearing at himself for not thinking how Emily might react. He just wanted her near him all the time. He hadn't thought about it scaring her. "You aren't going to lose me, I promise. Not over this. I couldn't let you go if I wanted to."

Emily grabs onto his promise like a life preserver. "You promise you won't leave?"

Lucky cups her cheeks with his hands and forces her to look into his steady gaze. "We belong together, Emily. I know we do. We can take it as slow as we need to." He draws her mouth up to his and pours all his love into the kiss, wanting, needing to reassure her.

Before the kiss leads down the path of no return, Emily pulls back, putting her hands on his lips. "I need to show you something." Sliding off the bed, Emily pads over to her backpack that doubles as her purse. Rummaging through it she pulls out a well worn cloth covered book. She crawls back on the bed and cuddles into his waiting arms.

"What's that?" Lucky asks, arranging her so her back is against his chest and his arms are around her.

"It's my journal," Emily explains, opening it. She leafs through until she finds a worn letter. She holds it out for him to take. "This is a letter I wrote while you were gone. I never really planned to let you read it, but I think you should."

Lucky takes the letter and gingerly opens it. He notes that it had been previously crumpled then flattened out. He reads, Dear Lucky and pauses. "You threw this out, didn't you?"

"The day I found out you were on your way back," Emily admits, but stops herself from explaining more. "Read it."

Lucky's smile is wistful as he read the beginning of what seems to be a sweet newsy letter, but then he nears the end of the letter:

 

........What's so amazing to me is that last year at this time I was so hooked on Nikolas and now I can't remember why. It's not like he isn't gorgeous or sweet. I guess when I think of being in love, all I think of is you.

I miss you so much, Lucky, it hurts. I wake up every morning with a hole in my heart and my first thought is of you. I miss feeling your arms around me...seeing you crack a lazy smile... having you kiss me. Sometimes at night, I close my eyes and I can almost feel your arms around me. Pretty sad, huh?

Mom tells me I should start dating again, she says she hates to see me so sad all the time. But I look at the college guys and they all seem so superficial, so fake compared to the memory of what we had.

I love you, Lucky. Come home.

Love,
Emily

 

By the letter's end, Lucky feels like he's been kicked in the gut. Full of self-loathing, he puts the letter down on the bed and wraps his arms around her tightly. "I'm sorry, Emily."

"That isn't why I asked you to read it," Emily replies quietly, hugging his arms to her. It was easier to say this when he isn't looking at her because she doesn't feel the urge to fall apart. "I just wanted you to understand how hard it was for me when you left. I forgave you months ago and I even accept the reason you had to leave. But I need you to understand why I can't move in with you."

Closing his eyes, Lucky presses his lips into her hair. It isn't what he wants to hear, but he does. "I understand, I do."

Emily turns in his arms so she is looking at him, her earnest eyes burning into his. He has to understand this, he has to. "Do you? Do you know that if I move in with you that I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself in 'Us'? I didn't realize until you left how much of my life revolved around you. I don't want to look back in a year and wonder if I can stand on my own two feet. I don't want to wonder if there is an 'Emily' separate from 'Emily and Lucky, the couple'." She takes his hands and squeezes them, her smile rueful. "And even if I didn't have those reasons, my family needs me at home. Grandmother and Grandfather aren't going to last much longer and I need to be there."

Lucky takes her hands and kisses them one after another. "So it's decided, we keep the status quo." Turning his head to the side, he smiles reassuringly. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"Exactly." Crawling closer to him on her knees, Emily threads her arms around his neck and pulls him into a kiss. She pulls back for a moment, a hopeful smile crossing her face as an idea hits her. "Is it okay if I stow a toothbrush and a change of clothes here, just in case?"

Lucky's smile widens at her suggestion. Pushing her over onto her back, he lays his body flush against hers, as close as intimate lovers can be. His hands prop him up on either side of her head and he looks down into her blushing face. "As a matter of fact, I think I can spare a whole drawer for ya."




A satiated Emily lies flat on her back with only a sheet draped over her for modesty's sake. Lucky is on his side looking at her. The silence of the moment is interrupted when Emily's stomach growls. "I suppose we should eat sometime today."

Lucky chuckles before rising from the bed to put on some sweat pants. "I just hope I have more in my fridge than sour milk."

Emily wrinkles her nose at the mention of sour milk. "So much for spending the day in bed." She grabs Lucky's oversized sweatshirt and puts it on before following him downstairs. "You know, we could always order in..."

"No, no. I insist on providing for you," Lucky answers in mock solemnity. "Ordering in is for wimps."

He opens the fridge and stares at the contents. A seductive smile on her face, Emily wraps her arms around his waist from behind. Her hands travel the expanse of his bare chest while she nips at his back. Lucky cries out when Emily hands travel inside his sweatpants.

Lucky turns on a dime, catching her around the waist and pulling her against him. "Two can play that game, Nymph." The palms of his hands slide under the sweatshirt and against her soft warm skin. "Hmmmm, I think I like my sweatshirt better on you."

Dizzy from his touch, Emily backs up to put some distance between them but quickly finds herself up against the kitchen table. "Lucky, God, I can't think ..." She draws in air for her oxygen deprived lungs. "When you do that."

Lucky lifts her up so she's sitting on the table and her legs are straddling him. "The feeling's mutual. I can't think of anything but this, but you."

Emily draws his mouth down to hers for a demanding kiss. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"Me either," Lucky murmurs into her mouth. "And I'll never look at this table the same way again."

 

The End