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Chapters 61 & 62

Chapter 61: Inner Demons

"Where to start?" Stefan ponders the question while stroking his mother's hand. "You have missed so much, Mother. I suppose I should begin with a subject that is dear to your heart. Our Beloved Nikolas. He has become quite an intelligent and sensitive young man. Full of wisdom, he knows the mistakes this family has made over the generations. Despite the problems we've had in recent years, we are closer than we have ever been. He values my advice; he consults me on all his important decisions."

"He knows the harm you've caused in the name of the Cassadine," Stefan continues uninterrupted, "and he's made it his goal when he comes of age to make reparations for it. I've told him everything, Mother. I have found the truth to be an invaluable tool." He smiles maliciously at her look of disbelief. "He knows about his grandfather and uncles, and he knows what Stavros did to his mother. He even knows of the atrocities committed by your monster of a sister, Melanie. And he has met his long lost cousins Kevin Collins and Cassandra Corbin."

Stefan notes that Helena's free hand clenches at her side. He continues, reveling in obvious rage he's stirred in her. "Yes, that's right, Mother. Her father was hidden right under your nose, working for me to protect the Spencers and keep you out of power. Working for Luke Spencer while spying for me. As for your niece, Cassandra? She is quite a remarkable young woman. Those who know her say she is brilliant. And completely untainted by the evil in her family. Would you believe she works for the WSB? She was instrumental in my search for Uncle Victor. And now that you've been completely neutralized, she has revealed herself to her half brother as well as the rest of the Cassadine. She is thrilled to be united with her family. In fact, Cassandra just gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl. Not that you have even the remotest chance of setting eyes on either of them."

Stefan tenderly brushes a stray lock of gray hair off of Helena's brow. "Then there's Alexis. How disappointed you must be that she continues to live. Her life is full with raising her beautiful baby boy named Stone. She hardly thinks of you other than to give thanks every night that you can't hurt her anymore. "

"And Finally Laura. You really hoped when you killed Luke you would destroy her, didn't you? While I never had a doubt she would survive, she surpassed my wildest dreams by consenting to be my wife. We have found love together, Mother, despite your machinations. Not only has her delightful daughter accepted me, but Laura's son Lucky is a regular visitor in our home. That's right, Mother, we are a family, a loving family," Stefan emphasizes, twisting the knife even more. "Nikolas and Lucky are close. They dote on their sister, LesleyLu, and Laura enjoys a nurturing relationship with them. Laura has become the mother Nikolas always dreamed of having. Nikolas lives with his wife at Wyndemere with us, and they are expecting a child imminently. A child who will never know the evil you were capable of. The feud is dead, Mother. It died with you."

Stefan rubs her slender hand against his cheek. "But you aren't dead, Are you Mother? Not Exactly. Though to all the world you are insignificant. Bedridden, a helpless cripple. How that must gall you."

Stefan lays her hand at her side and rises, moving to the foot of her bed and grasping her feet. "You still draw breath. You still poison this earth with each breath through the ventilator that keeps you alive. You are a disease, Mother. A disease that needs to be eradicated."

Mother and Son's eyes lock as they reach an understanding as to why Stefan is here. Helena doesn't flinch. "You look so frail, Mother. So helpless. Pitiful, paralyzed.... you can barely move or speak. But I alone know how powerful your venom is. Even confined to this bed you destroy. Though not through your own hand now." Stefan steps away from the bed and walks to the ventilator to study it. "But through me. You poison is still in me, Mother, because what I touch and those people I value most are devastated by the curse you put on me when I was born. And I won't be free and the people I love won't be free until you are dead."

"You wilth... doh me..." Helena struggles with each word. "A favoth killingth me."

"Which is unfortunate," Stefan admits calmly. "In keeping you alive thus far, I had hoped to make you suffer in isolation, in the silence of your own making. But alas, all good things must come to an end." His hand pauses over the switch that will turn the ventilator off and put an end to Helena's breathing. Then his eyes meet hers. "No, this would be too easy for you. I would prefer a hands-on approach in this matter."

Stefan reaches behind Helena's head and removes one of her pillows. "Goodbye Mother...." He places the pillow over Helena's face. After a brief pause, he removes it, taking grim pleasure in tormenting her, prolonging it. "I have changed my mind. Such a pivotal point in my life requires much thought. I realize now that ending your life in this way does not bring the satisfaction I require."

Stefan sits on her bed puzzling over the problem. "You see, Mother. I want to watch the life drain from your body, the light go out of your eyes. It seems only fitting since your goal from the moment I was born was to drain all the joy from my life." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small capped syringe. "I believe this will do the trick. This powerful little drug will simulate a massive stroke which will end your life. While not particularly creative, what is unique is that it will leave no trace of chemical residue. The doctors will run an autopsy and the only conclusion they will draw is that your body gave out on you. You will die a natural death. Only you and I will know differently."

Stefan rolls the syringe in his hand as he watches Helena reaction with fascination. "I asked the chemist for a detailed description of what your final moments will be like. Would you like to know?" He smiles tenderly at her. "Of course you would. First your eyes will go blank, then your muscles will stiffen. Finally your breathing and heart will stop. When injected directly into the bloodstream it takes only 60 seconds for all brain activity to cease. Unfortunately, it is also painless. I would have preferred something more painful, so your death could mirror your life. But this will have to do."

Stefan reaches across her body to the IV that hangs from her arm. "I imagine you wondered why the nurse started an IV. I'm sure she explained to you that they were concerned you were becoming dehydrated. But now you can appreciate the true reason."

Stefan uncaps the syringe and slips it into the portacath. He looks at his mother, his expression full of love and tenderness. "Goodbye Mother, perhaps we will both find peace now." Helena closes her eyes in preparation while his thumb rests over the syringe's plunger.

In that clarifying moment Stefan realizes that despite the sincerest intention to kill her in this moment, and his desperation to cut her poison out of his life forever, he can't bring himself to do it. He can't take her life. Not when it's her poison which is driving him.

If he murders Helena now, he will become her. Either way, his mother dead or alive, he will never be free from her for as long as he lives. Defeated, Stefan removes the syringe and caps it, dropping into the chair at her side.

Helena opens her eyes, confused and alarmed. But when she sees that he hasn't administered her death, she is furious. "You.... are... WEAKTH! Thupid, thplineless Worm!"

Tears roll down Stefan's cheeks. His voice is a hoarse whisper when he speaks. "Yes, Mother. I am weak. I am what you made me."

"WHAT?! He's at the Cassadine compound in Greece?" Alexis is floored. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Mr Cassadine's flight plans are not for me to make sense of, Ms Davis," The man on the other end of the phone explains tersely. "He tells me to fly him home to Greece, I fly him home to Greece."

Helena's suite of rooms at the Greek compound.

Feeling the walls closing in, a distraught Stefan escapes from her bedside and finds himself in her adjoining sitting room, recently vacated by the guards on his order. Breathing heavily, he tries to gain some measure of control. He failed! Everything he tries, he fails at!

"You've always been a disappointment to me, Stefan," Helena pronounces. Startled and disoriented, Stefan looks up and sees his reflection in a large ornate mirror on the wall, his eyes red and wild, his hair disheveled and his breathing labored. The next moment, his image in the mirror changes into Helena. She sneers at him with disgust. "Pathetic, that's what you are. You can't even kill an invalid! Not even to save yourself."

Helena's laughter fills the room, further unnerving Stefan. Desperate and out of control, He wrenches the mirror off the wall and smashes it against the floor. The shattering of glass tinkles all around him. Helena's laughter gets louder, but is centered directly behind him. Stefan whirls around to come face to face with Helena, who is standing before him clothed in a blood-red caftan, appearing several years younger and in full health.

"Did you really think you could stand against me? You can't even when I'm crippled. You are even a greater failure than I thought possible." Stefan shakes his head, trying to erase the image of her, knowing there's no possible way she could actually be standing in front of him. His mind must be playing tricks on him.

"I have everything I have ever wanted," Stefan retorts, his insides rolling with panic. "You are incapacitated and I am surrounded by loving family. You have no power over me anymore."

Helena reaches out and cups his cheek, which Stefan flinches away from. "My dear boy, you are more in my control than you have ever been. Look how you tremble, hmmm? You are terrified of me. Terrified because I am a bomb inside you ready to go off."

"That's ridiculous," Stefan argues. "I have always been in control of my own destiny."

Helena's face turns to stone. "You have the destiny I have decided for you! I let you play with that whore Lasha while she was married to your brother Stavros because it amused me that you could be controlled by your pants. When I tired of her, I made sure she left and you didn't follow. Even now, you are married to Lasha because I permitted it. And why wouldn't I? To give the two of you a taste of happiness before destroying you both!"

"NO!" Stefan bellows.

Helena smirks. "Oh yes indeed, My Son. And truly you are my most effective weapon. What better way to completely destroy you and Lasha but to have her married to you, pregnant with your child, only to lose the baby through a mysterious kidnapping!" She claps her hands together in delight. "The whole thing is just so rich! I didn't even have to lift a finger! You do it all for me, My Sweet Boy."

It can't be. Stefan tries to rid himself of Helena's apparition again. He can't help but begin to believe her. Her explanation for Richard's disappearance makes perfect sense. It resonates with his own beliefs about his life: that he's not allowed to be happy, that his own arrogance, his own selfishness is what caused this to happen. And that all the horrible things in his life begin and end with Helena.

Meanwhile Helena circles him, hammering at him from all sides. "Your pride caused this, Stefan. You were convinced you could make Lasha happy, that you could end the Cassadine-Spencer feud and raise your child without the past interfering. Did you think you could play god, Stefan?"

Stefan shakes his head. "No, I just wanted to...."

"You just wanted," Helena parrots. "You and your Lasha deprived my beloved Stavros the joy of raising his son. You have caged me in my own body, stripped me of all my power. And you will deprive me of Nikolas and his children for the rest of my life. Do you really think I would allow you to go unpunished?" Helena towers over Stefan like an avenging angel. "You and your loved ones will be punished until the day you die!"

Stefan grabs the sides of his head as his face crumbles and he cries openly. "No.. No... I won't allow them to be punished! They aren't responsible for what I've done."

"You have no choice," Helena retorts. "You never have. You and your loved ones will be punished until justice is done." She strolls around the room, her blood-red caftan flowing about her luxuriously. "Hmmm, who shall be next? Perhaps it is time for pretty little LesleyLu. What would be a most appropriate tragedy to befall her? There are so many ways to break a child's spirit. Kidnapping's been overdone of late..."

Stefan feels his heart in his throat. "NO!!"

Helena ignores him as she comes to a stop. "So many ways to rob a pretty child of her innocence. Too bad Melanie isn't alive to consult with, but I'm sure I can think of something."

Her last words are a body blow and Stefan sways precariously. He staggers to a chair and grabs it for support. "I can't allow that to happen. I won't...."

Helena approaches him, taking his ashen face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. "There really is only one way to protect her, Stefan."

Broken, Stefan nods as a tear escapes. "Yes, Mother. I understand."

Helena presses a loving kiss on her son's cheek before stepping away from him. She smiles at him proudly. "Excellent. Then we understand each other."

Devastated, Stefan lowers himself to the ground to kneel amongst the shards of glass. In the other room, a frail and bedridden Helena sleeps peacefully with the aid of a ventilator.

Chapter 62: Resolution

The Cassadine Island in Greece.

After his visit with Helena, Stefan swiftly makes his way down the path to the cove. The path ends as it opens to a clearing that overlooks the water. Stefan breathes deeply, letting the cool air clean out his lungs. The air in Helena's chambers had been stale and dead. Out here he feels alive. He could think, and he desperately needed to think. The decision before him was a momentous one.

It all made sense to him now. Why he was driven to visit Helena, his feelings since Richard's kidnapping. Everything was brought into focus. It was logical. His course of action was clear. He still has to plan for some important complications, but he feels confident about his destiny now in a way he hasn't since Richard was kidnapped. With each breath, he feels more calm, more certain about his decision.

His mother is one of those complications that has to be dealt with before he can put his plan into action. She is a loose end he can't afford to leave untied. Nikolas and his child must be protected at all costs.

Stefan's introspection is interrupted by the sound of a man's foot hitting the path behind him. Stefan turns to find one of the trusted Cassadine servants approach, slightly out of breath. "Pardon me, Mr Cassadine. I would not disturb you if it wasn't urgent."

Stefan waves off the man's apology. "It is all right, Kincaid. What is it that is so important?"

The servant continues in earnest. "Your Cousin, Alexis Corinthos, has been frantically trying to find you. The pilot had no choice but to tell her that he brought you here...."

Stefan puts his hand up to stop the flow of words. "Is there an emergency in Port Charles?" Is the new Princess Anastacia in danger?"

"Not as far as anyone knows, Mr Cassadine," Kincaid replies. "But Mrs Corinthos is making preparations to fly here."

Stefan shakes his head adamantly as he makes his way back to the main house with the servant tagging along behind him. " You did well to find me. She cannot be allowed to join me here."

Laura runs her hand lovingly over the weathered bannister of the Spencer homestead. How could she have gone this long without visiting? She breathes in deeply then slowly exhales, savoring the familiar smells, letting the wonderful memories wash over her. A memory flits through her mind of Lucky and baby Lulu when they were very happy. Lucky tickling his baby sister and Lulu giggling wildly. Laura smiles wistfully, then raises her hand to knock on the door.

A moment later, Lucky answers the door, clearly surprised to see her. "Mom! Is everything all right? Lulu, Gina and the baby?!"

"Yes, the whole family is fine," Laura assures him good-naturedly. "Can't I make a friendly house call on my son?"

Relaxing, Lucky holds the door open wide to invite her in. "Sure, I just didn't expect you." He escorts her awkwardly into the living room. How does you entertain your mother in a home she used to run? Lucky clears his throat. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you, I'm fine. " Laura strolls around her old living room, reacquainting herself with it. The furniture has been rearranged, the photos on the mantel are different, but it's essence is the same. Smells like home. Laura turns to Lucky and smiles at him warmly. "I'm so glad you are living here. The few months it was left empty felt wrong. This place fits you."

Lucky smiles crookedly. "Thanks, I think. I don't really consider myself the homeowner type, but I like this old place. It sure beats living above the club."

Laura raises a knowing eyebrow. "There's no doubt about that."

Lucky invites his mother to sit on the couch, then joins her. "So what's the reason for the visit? You said everyone was fine. You as well? "

"Yes, and so am I," Laura answers. "I can't believe how much I love being a Grandmother. It's so much fun!"

"You're a natural with children, Mom. You always have been." Lucky takes her hand and squeezes it.

"That's because you kids made it easy," Laura stresses, squeezing his hand back. "I didn't have a particular reason to visit except I wanted to see how it's going for you living here. And I wanted to save you a trip to Wyndemere. You've been a saint coming to visit me like you have. It hasn't gone unnoticed by me."

"You and Lulu needed me," Lucky explains, embarrassed that she's grateful. "Neither of you were in any condition to go anywhere, so I did what anyone would have done."

"Not anyone, Lucky. You," Laura emphasizes. "I can guess what it's cost you to come to Wyndemere. To spend so much time around Stefan, to help with the search for Richard. To hold me and Lulu together when we were coming apart at the seams. You did that for us, and I'll never forget it. When it counts, Lucky, you're there. I can't tell you how proud I am of the man you are."

"Don't thank me. I don't want to be thanked," Lucky says coldly.

Lucky gets up and walks away from her, turning his back. Laura is puzzled, uncertain what's caused him to pull away so suddenly. What could she say to smooth things over? "I ... I didn't mean to offend you, Lucky. I know I don't have a right to take any credit for how you've turned out. Lord knows, I didn't have anything to do with it...."

Lucky's anger flares. "Stop Mom! Just stop. I can't listen to your self-deprecation right now, okay? Just can it."

Laura presses her lips together to keep her emotions at bay. How did she hit this minefield? She just came over to thank him and now he's furious with her. "Help me understand this, Lucky. Help me understand why you're so angry with me all of a sudden."

Lucky's patience is gone. He doesn't want to hurt her, but he can't seem to stop himself. The old anger, the old resentment over the choices she's made rise to the surface, fueled by the burning guilt he can't give a voice. "If you can't remember why I'm angry at you after all this time, then we don't have anything to talk about."

Laura nods, understanding all too well but not trusting herself to handle this volatile issue. She knows that it's too soon for her; the loss of Richard is too fresh to take on anything this painful too. She rises, picking up her purse. "I think I should leave before I say anything else that will make things worse between us." She walks up to Lucky and brushes her hand along his cheek. "I'm not giving up, Lucky. I will never give up on you."

Lucky's heart drops into his stomach when sees his mother's stricken expression. Before Laura can pull away to leave, Lucky grabs her hand and pulls her into a hug. "I'm sorry, Mom. Don't go like this. I didn't mean what I said, it just came out.."

Laura embraces him back tightly, letting herself get teary. "Yes, you did mean what you said, Lucky. But I understand where it's coming from. You haven't given yourself permission to be angry at me since we lost Richard."

Lucky holds onto his mother for dear life as he gives voice to his deepest feelings. "I love you, Mom. It scares me how much. I don't want to be angry at you anymore. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of being bitter. And most of all, I'm tired of feeling guilty."

Laura strokes his hair lovingly. "You deserve to be happy, Lucky, even if that means cutting me out of your life. Please promise me that you'll do what it takes to be happy? If there's one thing I've learned in all the tragedies I've suffered, it's that you have to grab what happiness you can find and never let it go."

"I tried living without you in my life and it didn't work," Lucky admits. "I have to face that fact that I need you. You, Lulu, Emily. You're what matter most to me. My home is here, for better or for worse."

Laura pulls away far enough to brush the hair out of Lucky's eyes in a motherly gesture. "Well, I'm relieved. I wasn't at all sure how I would let you go. But I would have, if you needed me to."

Deciding the time is right, Lucky takes a deep breath. "I have something I need to tell you, Mom."

"This must be serious. Shall we sit down?" Laura takes a seat on the couch and pats the place next to her for him to sit.

Lucky sits beside her, looking at the ground to gather his courage. "Promise me that if this gets too much for you, that you'll tell me to stop."

"I think we just made it through the worst, Lucky. But I promise if it starts to be too much, we'll stop."

"What you said earlier, about you being proud of me? I don't think you'll believe that after we're done." Laura gives him a puzzled but encouraging look, so Lucky presses forward. "Do you remember the day you told me you were marrying Stefan? Do you remember our fight?"

Laura nods. "It was the worst fight we've ever had in our lives. We said some awful things to each other. "

"No, that's not quite right," Lucky corrects. "You didn't say anything bad, but I said some horrible things, some incredibly nasty things to you. Do you remember what I said?"

"It was a pretty emotional argument, I don't remember it word for word. In fact, I tried to forget it." Laura starts to make the connections. "Is this what you're feeling guilty about? About something you said? Lucky?!" Laura shakes her head adamantly. "You can't be blaming yourself for something you said in the heat of the moment."

"I knew what I was doing," Lucky argues. "I knew exactly what I was saying. I said the most hurtful things I could think of. I wanted to hurt you..." His voice breaks, he can't make himself say the words.

Laura puts her hand over his. "You were hurt and angry. You'd just lost your father and your Aunt Ruby. And then I betrayed you and your father by getting pregnant with Stefan's child and making plans to marry him. You were striking back the only way you could, the only way you knew how. Don't do this to yourself. Whatever was said is forgotten. None of it matters now."

Lucky shakes off her assurances, standing up and walking towards the fireplace. "I love you for it, Mom, but you're just making excuses for me. But I'm man enough that I have to take responsibility my actions." He presses on brutally despite Laura's protests. "The fact is I didn't want you to have Richard. I demanded that you abort the baby." He bows his head in shame. "God, I still remember how horrified you were. You stared at me like I was some kind of monster.... And look what happened? I wanted the baby gone and Richard is gone!"

There is a moment of dead silence in the room before Laura erupts. "NO!!" She stands up, furiously angry. "Look at me Lucky." When he doesn't look at her she grabs his arm and spins him around. "LOOK AT ME!" Lucky slowly looks up at her, ashamed and a little afraid. She pokes his chest to emphasize her point. "Stop it. I insist you stop it this instant! You will not blame yourself for this. You had a natural reaction when you found out I was pregnant with Stefan's child. I won't let you blame yourself. I won't! The only people I hold responsible are the evil monsters that took my child. Don't you dare take that away from me!" Laura starts to cry in earnest. "My God! If you are responsible for this, then we all are! I am most of all. You have no right to be guilty, do you hear me? This is my baby that was lost, not yours! I get to decide who is responsible. I'll be damned if I let those evil monsters take anything else away from me and my family."

Lucky looks at her utter confusion. "I just thought..."

Laura pulls him into a fierce hug. "Think again. I'm not losing anyone else to this tragedy. I forbid you to punish yourself anymore. Not about what you said to me when you were angry, not about not 'watching my back', as I'm sure you're thinking. I won't allow it. I hereby order you to cease and desist."

Lucky wraps his arms around his mother and buries his face in her hair like he used to when he was a little kid. "Okay, you're the boss, Mom."

"I'm was worried about you, Stefan," Alexis says softly into the phone, relief flooding her at hearing his reassuringly arrogant tone. "I still am. What possible reason could you have to see your mother at a time like this? Are you trying to torture yourself? No, don't answer that.""

"I am fine, Alexis. You needn't have worried. After I'm finished here, I will be heading home." Stefan walks over to a nearby window and looks out at the Aegean Sea. "There is no reason to upset Nikolas or his mother by informing them of where I am."

Alexis sighs unhappily before agreeing. "Fine, I will keep this to myself. But why did you have to be so secretive about it in the first place?"

"Do you really have to ask after your reaction to my whereabouts?" Stefan retorts. "There really was no need to be so extreme as to make plans to fly over here. I am perfectly capable of handling her on my own."

"You scared me when I couldn't find you," Alexis explains. "And I was even more alarmed when I found out where you went!"

"Are you and Laura the only ones allowed to confront my mother over the crimes she's committed against us?" Stefan hears Alexis groan. "I felt it necessary to see her for myself. To be sure she really is as incapacitated as the Cassadine staff were claiming. It was a precaution I felt needed to be taken with Anastacia's birth imminent."

"Fine, Fine. You win." Alexis mutters. "You could concoct a reasonable explanation for why pigs fly if you set your mind to it."

"Excuse me? Pigs fly? I think not."

"It's an Americanism, Stefan. It's not worth explaining." Alexis stands when she sees Nikolas at the door. "Just come back soon, Okay? We all want to see you home safe and sound. And another thing, you get to explain to Nikolas why you weren't here when Staci was born. I'm going to hand the phone to him right now and you can fill him in on everything."

"No, Alexis, don't pass the phone---" Stefan clenches his teeth when hears Alexis give Nikolas the phone. "Nikolas! How is the baby? Is Anastacia as beautiful as her mother?"