Chapters 55 & 56
Chapter 55 Breaking Loose
Lucky and Emily meet Laura outside of the storage room. Upon seeing Lucky, Laura hugs him, tightly. "Thank you..." She whispers, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "Thank you for coming." Pulling away so she can look in his eyes, she asks. "You're sure you can do this? I'll understand if you can't." When Lucky nods, Laura releases him.
Laura sees Emily standing off to the side and draws her into an embrace. "Emily, I so glad Lucky brought you! Thank you for taking care of my son when I couldn't. I will forever be in your debt."
"There are no thanks necessary," Emily answers simply. "I love Lucky and I know he'd do the same for me."
Laura pulls the key out of her pocket and with shaky hands unlocks the door , pushes it open, and flips on the light. They are greeted with carefully organized nursery contents. The crib stands in the far corner, and next to it a mahogany rocking chair and antique wooden high chair. In the other corner are boxes marked "clothes", "toys", "bedding" etc. A matching mahogany changing table lines the left wall while an empty bookshelf spans the other. Closest to the door is the cradle. But the most eye catching object in the room is the rocking horse complete with a silver bridle and leather saddle. The mane and tail are made of real horse hair.
The three stand in silence at the door. Lucky studiously looks at the floor while Emily stands beside him, squeezing his hand. Laura's eyes flit over every object, cataloging her emotional reaction to each one When her eyes rest on the rocking horse, she steps into the room and places her hand on it's head and strokes it's mane. "Richard would have loved this..." Laura says softly.
Lucky's throat closes, making it impossible for him to say a word, not that he had anything to say anyway. Keeping Emily's hand in a death grip, Lucky forces himself to walk into the room.
Almost in a trance, Laura walks among the furnishings, running her hand along each one. It surprises her at first that she's not more upset, that she actually finds some comfort in looking at and touching Richard's belongings. Even though her sadness is intense, for the first time in weeks Laura feels closer to her missing son, as if a small part of him still exists for her here.
Turning around, Laura notices immediately how much Lucky is struggling. He looks up at her bravely, just barely keeping his gaze steady. Her eyes soften as she reaches out for him. "It's okay, Lucky. Really. I'm okay, you don't have to be strong for me."
Lucky remains stiff as she tries comfort him. "I'm fine, Mom."
Stepping back, Laura cups his cheek lovingly. "No, you're not. And you don't have to worry about it because I'm handling this. Why don't you and Emily go? I want to spend a little more time here, but now that I've seen it, I know I can manage on my own." Laura squashes the urge to mother him, knowing that while she has enough strength to handle her own emotions, she's still too shaky to take on his. Besides which, Lucky would balk.
Lucky shakes his head furiously. "No, Mom. It's too soon. If you push yourself too hard, you'll crash and no one will be here."
Laura frowns. "Lucky, I don't need to be protected from this. Why don't you and Emily go for a walk? You need the air."
Emily interjects. "How about if I stay with your mom? You could go for a walk or visit with Lulu while your mom and I finish up here."
Seeing the indecision in Lucky's face, Laura shoos him towards the door. "Then it's settled. Emily will stay with me while you visit with Lulu or go for a walk."
"Mom..."
Laura cuts him off. "I love you for trying to do this, Lucky, but so long as you're here I'll be worried about it's affecting you and I won't be able to do what I need to do. Emily and I will be fine. There's no one I trust more to be in the trenches with me."
"I'm sorry, Gail. I know puts you in a bind." Tom places another folded shirt into his suitcase. "I wouldn't even ask you if it wasn't an emergency. A close friend of mine is in a bad way. I need to take the next flight out."
As he listens to Gail's response, Tom crosses the room to retrieve his shaving kit. "Thanks, Gail. I owe you one. I'll give you a call once I arrive in Llanview to give you the number where I'll be staying. I should be back in a couple days."
Once he ends the conversation, he snaps his suitcase shut and makes another call. "I need to make a reservation... yes, just for me. I will be getting in tonight and I will need a room for a couple of nights... Terrific. Thank you very much."
Outside Wyndemere
Lucky is standing at the landing overlooking the launching dock, lost in thought when Nikolas descends the steps from Wyndemere to join him. "Lucky, I didn't know you were here. Did you come to see LesleyLu? I believe she's at the stables."
Lucky doesn't look up from his study of the water "Nah, I came to see Mom."
"So why aren't you with her? Did something happen?"
"She's going through Richard's things right now..." Lucky swallows hard. "And I needed a break."
"Mother is going through Richard's things?! So soon?" Nikolas is floored. "Does my uncle know about this?"
Lucky shrugs. "No idea. Probably, since he makes it his business to know everything."
"Mother shouldn't be dealing with this so soon, she's likely to have a setback." Propelled into action, Nikolas quickly turns to take the stairs back to Wyndemere.
"She's not alone, Nikolas," Lucky calls after him as Nikolas takes the steps two a time. "She's with Emily, and last I saw her, she was fine."
Wiping her brow, a tired and dusty Emily looks around the new home for Richard's nursery. She has to admit the room is beautiful, in a sad sort of way. "I think that's the last of it."
Breathing a little heavily from all the exertion of the last hour, Laura nods with satisfaction. "I think it looks terrific. Thanks for all your help, Emily. And for not asking a lot of questions when I told you what I wanted to do."
"I figured you must know what you're doing," Emily explains. "I know enough about grief to know everyone handles it in their own way. There are as many ways to grieve as there are people."
"To be able to get through losing Richard, I need to be able to feel close to him." Having found an understanding listener, Laura finds herself pouring her heart out. "After all the years I spent trying to forget Nikolas while he was growing up, after spending the last few years facing up to that horrible mistake, I realized I couldn't do that this time. Trying to forget Richard is the most unhealthy thing I can do for myself, for Richard, and for my other children. Richard isn't going to be swept under the rug. I refuse to let that happen." Taking a deep breath, Laura reaches out and strokes the side of the cradle. "I have to keep hoping he'll be returned to us. I know what everyone has told me, that I have to accept that he's gone. That he won't be coming back and now I have to let go to get on with my life. But I won't do that. I'm going to find a way to live my life in the present and have a place where I can remember him."
Laura and Emily hear footfalls behind them and turn to face the door. Nikolas is standing in the entrance to the nursery, his face ashen. "Mother... " Seeing Emily behind Laura, Nikolas pastes on a smile. "Emily, it's always good to see you. What's going on?"
Laura clasps her hands in front of her and straightens her spine. "I'm making up Richard's nursery."
"I... see." Nikolas turns from ashen to green. It takes all his self control to stay near the room and keep quiet.
Emily looks from Nikolas to Laura and back again. Coughing, she interrupts the tense silence. "Do you need help moving anything else, Laura?"
Nikolas' eyes never leave his mother. "If my mother needs any more help, I'll be the one to get it for her."
"Thank you so much for everything, Emily."Laura turns away from Nikolas to smile graciously at Emily. "I think that's all I need. Why don't you go check on Lucky? I'm sure he could use your company."
"If you're sure..." Emily looks uncertainly between mother and son, feeling nervous about being a witness to their tension, but even more uneasy about leaving. Laura seemed to be doing okay, but what if Nikolas sent her into a tailspin? Was it her business to get in between them? "I guess I'll be going now."
After Emily leaves, Laura shoots an angry glare at Nikolas. "You were downright rude to Emily. Was that called for?"
"What do you think you're doing, Mother?" Nikolas counters. "A nursery for Richard?! Are you trying for another breakdown?" The words fly out of his mouth before he can stop them.
"No, as a matter of fact I'm dealing with my grief." Pausing, Laura runs a loving hand along the mane of the rocking horse. "I know this is difficult to understand, but I need this nursery. The only way I'm going to be able to move on is if I have a place to visit where I can honor him. A room that is just his. Don't you think he deserves a permanent place in our home?"
"That's not the point!" Nikolas argues, fighting to remain calm. "I'm worried about you, Mother. I'm worried you'll become so fixated that you won't be able to function. You've just gotten back on your feet, what if this sets you back? And LesleyLu, have you thought of how she'll feel about having a constant reminder of Richard every time she walks down this hall?"
Laura's anger flares. "You will not make me feel selfish because I want this, Nikolas. I refuse to feel guilty because you want to bully me out of it. And don't you think I've thought of Lulu? Of course I have. For your information, Lulu needs this as much as I do." Her anger evaporating, Laura searches her son's face. "What is really going on, Nikolas? Why has this struck such a nerve? Is having Richard's nursery so close upsetting you?"
Nikolas crosses his arms protectively over his chest. "Don't be ridiculous."
Laura puts a hand on his arm. "I know this isn't easy for you, Nikolas. You haven't had a chance to think much less grieve since Richard's disappearance. You've been so busy being strong for everyone else. And with your baby on the way, this is probably terrifying." She winces when Nikolas turns his face away from her in obvious pain. "I'm sorry, Nikolas."
Nikolas brushes a tear out of the corner of his eye. "What if this... " His throat closes, choking off the rest of his question.
Laura embraces Nikolas fiercely. "It won't. Gina is having the baby at home, and it will be born healthy and surrounded by a loving family. Nothing will touch your baby. You have to believe that."
Nikolas lays his head on Laura's shoulders. "I'm trying. I'm really trying." Their private moment is interrupted by the sound of scurrying feet. Laura pulls away from Nikolas at the sight of a breathless servant.
"What is it?" Laura asks.
"It's Mrs Cassadine," The nurse gasps for breath. "Madam, Mr Cassadine. Her water broke just a few minutes ago. She's in labor. I was told to fetch you immediately."
Chapter 56: Feeling The Fear
Grasping the midwife's hand in a death grip, a trembling Gina, dressed in a simple but elegant blue caftan, lumbers the length of the suite set up for the childbirth. The midwife speaks to her in low tones, rubbing Gina's lower back when Gina pauses in her progress to breathe through a contraction. "That's it, Gina. You're doing a terrific job. Breathe in slowly... that's it... now breathe out."
Once the contraction passes, Gina stands again and wipes her stringy hair out of her face. "Where's Nikolas? He should be here by now."
"He'll be here very soon," The midwife answers soothingly. "Peggy only left to go find him a short while ago."
"It feels like *hours*." Gina fights the urge to cry. How is she going to make it through this when she's already this scared? What if something went wrong with the baby and they couldn't get her to the hospital in time? What if the baby wouldn't come... or got stuck? As if she summoned it, another contraction starts, stronger than the one before.
The midwife sees Gina wincing and doubling over from the pain. "Remember to breathe, Gina. One long deep breath in... yes, that's it... now let it out slowly. Now breathe in again."
Gina stands upright after the contraction dissipates. "Nikolas, why aren't you here?!" A moment later, a servant opens the door and Nikolas rushes in, out of breath.
"I came... I came as soon as I heard." Nikolas lays a supportive hand on the crest of her protruding stomach while his eyes flit over the length of her, noting the tension in her body and the fear present in her eyes. "Are you in pain?"
Gina's wraps her arms around Nikolas' neck and lets out a sob. "I'm trying... I'm really trying to be strong, Nikolas. But I'm scared. What if something happens? What if there's something wrong with our baby?"
"Everything is going to be just fine," Nikolas asserts softly as he leads her to the bed. They sit on the edge together, Nikolas cradling her head against the crook of his neck. Faced with his wife's obvious distress, he forces his own fears about the baby's safety to the far recesses of his mind. His wife needs him to be supportive and that is what he will be. Strong, focused, reassuring. "We have the best medical staff money can buy. You remember what Doctor Goldstein said? You and the baby are healthy and there's no reason to believe you can't have this baby safely at home. You can do this, Gina."
"I know." Taking a deep breath, Gina draws on Nikolas' strength to calm her nerves. "I just got scared, but I'm better now that you're here. You'll stay with me?"
Nikolas caresses her head with his hands before placing a kiss on the top of her head. "I promise. I won't leave your side as long as you and the baby need me."
Another contraction builds and Gina stiffens in his arms. "Oh God, another one's coming."
The midwife takes Gina's hand to get her attention. "Slowly breathe in...." She reminds gently. Gina does as the midwife instructs, with Nikolas following her lead. He feels a bit silly, but their Lamaze teacher had insisted that it would help Gina stay focused on her breathing as well as tuning Nikolas in to his wife's experience.
After the contraction runs it's course, an exhausted Gina lays limp in Nikolas' arms. The midwife furrows her brow in concern. If Gina stays this high strung through the entire birthing, she's convined Gina will wear out before the baby is born. "Gina, would you like to try the jacuzzi?"
"Will it be safe for the baby?" Nikolas asks.
The midwife nods. "Perfectly safe. That's why Dr Goldstein suggested having one available. It can help relax Gina, which will in turn lessen the pain during contractions."
Gina raises herself from Nikolas' arms. "I'd like to try it. I'll try anything if it'll help with the pain."
The midwife motions to Peggy to get the jacuzzi ready. "Let me get a set of vitals on you and a reading on the baby's heart rate while you're waiting for the tub to fill. And by the time you're ready to come out of the tub, Dr Goldstein will be here."
In a room the size of a large closet, Lucky and Stefan stand in front of a row of computer terminals and TV screens, their mutual dislike and distrust of each other put aside temporarily to focus on the matter at hand.
Each TV screen is hooked up to the extensive security system that surrounds the island. There is a touchpad with each TV screen that lets Stefan and Lucky change the direction of the remote infrared camera at will, affording them complete visual access to every square foot of Spoon Island.
Lucky glances over at Stefan from one of the screens. "Has the launch been shut down yet?"
Stefan doesn't look up from the computer terminal he's typing into. "Not until Alexis and Dr Goldstein have arrived on the island. As of this moment, Alexis and the doctor are in a limousine on the way to the docks. They should arrive here within the half hour."
Lucky looks over Stefan's shoulder at what he's doing. "Reprogramming the access codes again?" He asks with grudging admiration for Stefan's methodical attention for detail. "Good thinking. What about the mobile security teams?"
"There are four teams patrolling Spoon Island with canines to sniff out anything unusual. The teams are instructed to report in every 10 minutes."
Lucky gives a low whistle. "Impressive. I wouldn't want to be out there trying to get in."
"If you were an intruder, you would be fortunate if all you sustained was a dog bite." Stefan's eyes narrow at something he reads on the computer screen. Looking up at the far right TV screen, he fiddles with the touchpad. "We have a problem. The camera in sector 10 is not responding."
Lucky takes a closer look at the screen, then reaches for a small toolkit in one of the cabinets. "I'll take a hike out there and have a look at it."
"Report in when you arrive." Stefan hands him a cell phone, pausing a moment before releasing it so that Lucky is looking into his eyes. "Your mother.. Nikolas and I... we count on you."
Lucky's eyes widen, realizing this is as close as Stefan is going to get to thanking him. Another time he might have taken it as an insult to question his duty to his family, but today he lets it roll off his back. He crooks a smile. "Sure thing, just make sure security knows I come in peace?"
Lulu's Bedroom
Emily sits on the floor with Lulu next to her statuesque doll house as they go through the motions of playing dolls. Once Lucky heard that Gina was in labor, he asked her to keep Lulu company since the family was concerned how she would react. She half expected Lulu to be squirrelly, either begging to go play outside or to go see her mother or Stefan. But instead, a docile Lulu agreed to stay in her room without a whisper of complaint. Wanting to keep Lulu's mind off Gina and the baby while they waited, Emily had suggested playing dolls and Lulu shrugged her shoulders in agreement.
With a heavy sigh, Lulu puts her dolls and doll house furniture into her doll house. "I don't want to play dolls anymore, Emily."
Emily helps Lulu clean up, careful to keep her tone light and unconcerned. Frankly Lulu's muted mood was eerie. Shouldn't Lulu be more upset or excited? "Okay, how about we draw pictures then?"
Lulu shakes her head. "No thank you. I don't feel like drawing." She pulls her favorite stuffed dog into her arms as she climbs onto her bed. "You don't have to babysit me, Emily. I know Stefan and Mama are worried about me, but I'm okay. I promise I won't go anywhere."
Emily sits on the edge of Lulu's bed and reaches out to stroke Lulu's hair. "You don't want to keep me company while we wait for Gina's baby to born? Gosh I'm so nervous and excited. I wonder if it'll be a boy or girl."
Closing her eyes, Lulu hugged her stuffed dog closer. "I know you want to be with Lucky, you don't have to pretend to want to stay with me. Really. You don't have to worry about me."
Emily swallows hard, she knows all about how Lulu's feeling. She felt this way for a long time after her mom died. She also knows the more she tries to push Lulu, the farther Lulu would pull away. Time and patience, that's what Lulu needed. And her immediate family, but they weren't available right now. "If it's okay with you, I'm going to hang out with you anyway. Lucky is so busy with Stefan making sure that the baby is going to be safe when it's born, he doesn't need me pestering him. So I'm going to just stay out of his way until everything is taken care of."
Silence descends as Lulu huddles on her bed with her back to Emily, who is wondering what to do next. After a few minutes, Emily rises from the bed and goes to stand by the window, looking out at the setting sun which has turned the sky to a burning amber yellow. The sound of a sniffle from the direction of the bed gets Emily's attention. "What's the matter, Lulu?"
"My family doesn't have to worry about me," Lulu answers softly. "I'll be good so they won't worry."
Emily's heart leaps into her throat at the promise made with fierce but childlike sincerity. "Lulu, no one is braver than you. No one."
Richard's nursery.
Laura leans back in the rocking chair with her arms wrapped around herself. Closing her eyes, She rocks back and forth, letting her mind drift as it would, beyond the present concerns of Gina's imminent birthing to the past.. to what might have been. In her mind's eye, Laura imagines what Richard would look like at three months old. Full head of hair and bright clear blue eyes full of curiosity, he would be heart-stopping gorgeous like all her children. She lets herself fantasize how it would feel to hold him now, to nurse him, to rock him in this rocking chair as she hums a lullaby.
Laura knows it's not reality, but she can't help herself from wishing it were true. That Richard would be with her: his tiny little hands grasping at his blanket, his eyes fixed on her, a precious heartrending smile on his face. He would coo and gurgle at her, perhaps even giggle at a funny face she would make.
She puts her arms in the position of cradling him and she begins to hum to herself, a song she sung to all her children, one she never had a chance to sing for Richard. In her heart she feels his presence and her love for him. Tears spring to her eyes, healthy tears of grief over her loss, over the loss they've all suffered over Richard's disappearance.
For the first time since his disappearance, she lets her mind rest, truly rest, on the reality that he may never be found. Her son, her baby son is gone from them, most likely forever. Tears course down her face, dampening her blouse. Her body shakes with the grief as her hands drop out of the position of cradling Richard. He's gone. But even in her grief she knows he will always remain in her heart and in this room.
Club Indigo, Llanview, PA
With a tired sigh. Tom slides into a booth with the whiskey sour he ordered from the bar. Taking the faintest of sips from his glass, he glances around the half filled club. He picked his table because of it's excellent location. He can see the entrance and the bar from where he is sitting, without being conspicuous about what he's after. The burgundy and gray decor is modern and comfortable, and the light contemporary jazz playing in the background soothes it's tired customers at the end of a long day.
A tall muscularly built black man with long spectacular dredlocks and a feral smile stands behind the bar, wiping it down with a white cloth. Being an expert in human behavior, Tom can tell from a distance that this man is buzzing with energy and constantly on the lookout for trouble and opportunity. If Tom weren't here on another mission, he might just spend the evening studying the man. But tonight, he's looking for someone else.
"Can I get you anything, Sir?" Tom finds his view of the bartender blocked by the sight of a pretty blonde waitress standing in front of him in a skin-tight black sweater and matching miniskirt. The curvy blonde is a looker, but Tom only smiles mildly.
"I'm fine, thanks." Just as she's turning away, he stops her. "Oh wait. Maybe you can help me. I'm trying to find Rachel Gannon. Isn't she a waitress here?"
The blonde waitress gives him a once over before answering. The guy looks harmless, but who can be sure? "Maybe, maybe not. Who's asking?"
Tom smiles charmingly, shrugging his shoulders casually. "Just a friend of a friend. I'm here on business from Port Charles and my friend told me to look Rachel up. If you see her, could you tell her I stopped by to say hello?" Tom hands her his business card. "Tom Hardy, MD. The phone number where I'm staying is on the back "
The blonde looks at the card before sticking it in the pocket of her miniskirt. "Sure, why not? Let me know if you want anything from the kitchen."
