Chapters 47 & 48
Chapter 47: Lean On Me "I'm so glad we could do this, Lucky," Emily says as they stroll through the park on a sunny afternoon. Lucky lugs a picnic basket while Emily carries the blanket.
"Well, you've put up with my miserable moods for the last month, the least you deserve is an afternoon off from it. An afternoon where it's just you and me." As they stop, Lucky takes the blanket from Emily's arms and spreads it out on the lush green grass. Taking a moment to gaze up at the sun, he marvels at it. Has it been that long since he noticed the sun even existed? Apparently, because he can't remember the last time he allowed himself the simple pleasure of basking in it.
Emily kneels on the blanket and opens the picnic basket. She pulls out a large assortment of goodies: Sandwiches, pastries, fruits.. a veritable feast. "Wow, who made up this picnic basket?"
"Mrs Lansbury. One of the few side benefits of spending a lot of time on spook island is enjoying Mrs Lansbury's cooking. She overheard us making plans for a lunch in the park and insisted on making us up a basket." Kneeling beside Emily, Lucky cracks a smile. "If we don't keel over from food poisoning, I guess that means she doesn't hate me."
Fighting a chuckle, Emily arches one eyebrow. "Lucky Spencer, was that a joke? It's been so long, I'm not sure I recognize one coming from you."
"That long, huh?" Lucky shakes his head ruefully. "Time to take drastic measures. Perhaps we should make a date for a Three Stooges Marathon."
"Absolutely," Emily agrees, handing him half a sandwich. "My living room Friday night, 9 o'clock sharp. You bring the movies, I'll provide the popcorn."
"It's a date." As they continue to eat and tease each other, the ever-present knot in Lucky's stomach begins to loosen. The relaxation he feels is a foreign, but pleasant sensation. Savoring the sight of Emily's beautiful smiling face, Lucky decides he could definitely get used to this.
Laura Cassadine glides down the steps of Wyndemere dressed in a simple floral dress. Her blonde hair, now tinged with gray and devoid of all curl, is pulled back in a plain pony tail. Pale and thin, Laura looks more like a servant than the mistress of Wyndemere.
Once she reaches the bottom of the steps, she pauses to smooth out a nonexistent wrinkle in her dress. Finding the entry hall and living room empty and eerily quiet, she goes in search of her family. Finally she finds Stefan sitting at his desk in his study, tapping away on his laptop computer. When he hears her enter, he stops.
"Laura," Stefan says as he looks up at her. "I thought you were sleeping."
"I'm tired of sleeping," Laura replies, beginning to amble around the room, not looking at Stefan, but instead perusing the books on the book shelves. "I'm always sleeping...where are Lulu and Lucky?"
Stefan removes his glasses and rises from his chair. Rounding the desk, he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "It appears Lucky took the afternoon off to spend some time with Emily. As for Lulu.. if you recall, Lulu had a prearranged play date with Georgie. She is at Mac and Felicia's. Shall I send the car for her?"
"No, let her have fun with Georgie. She needs the break from this place."
"Of course." Stefan studies Laura carefully, trying to assess her mood and how best to approach her. "Would you like me to ask Mrs Lansbury to fix you something? You didn't touch your lunch earlier."
For a brief moment, a flash of anger passes over Laura's face before it extinguishes. "No, thank you. If I'm hungry, I'll ask her to make something myself." Placing her hand on the freestanding globe near the desk, she gives it a quick spin. "And Nikolas and Gina? Where are they?"
A long silence passes as Stefan mulls over his response, trying to word one that won't upset her. When Laura fixes him with a demanding glare, he finally answers. "Nikolas took Gina to her prenatal appointment."
Laura blanches. "Oh... I guess I've been pretty self-involved lately. I'm sorry."
"There is nothing to apologize for," Stefan assures as he comes up behind her. He reaches out a tentative hand, but stops short of touching her, instead letting his drop to his side. "You have been trying to survive, to cope with the loss. We all have."
Laura gives him an apologetic smile. "Everyone has been very patient with me. Trying to protect me from anything that might upset me. But it's not necessary anymore.... Tell me, how is Nikolas doing? He's very careful around me, I can't tell how he's handling all this."
"He is the same with me. However, knowing him as I do, I have sensed his fear... and his helplessness. He feels unable to help us with the tragedy, and he's afraid the same tragedy will befall his child."
"Of course, how could he not?" Laura fights to keep the grief at bay. As time has gone on, she's gradually gained more control over her feelings, her grief. But at times like this, she finds it almost impossible to. Glancing at Stefan, she notices he's withdrawing again. Mention of Gina and Nikolas' baby is a mine field for both of them.
Stefan looks at his watch. "I have an appointment at the hospital. Would you like me to reschedule it...?"
Laura shakes her head. "No, I'll be fine. If I need anything, I'll call Mrs Lansbury. You go." They exchange a brief peck on the cheek before he leaves. Laura climbs the stairs back to her room, back to her safe haven.
In the recesses of Laura's subconscious mind, there is a growing concern about Stefan's reaction to all of this and the impact it's had on their marriage. Rather than the loss of Richard bringing them closer together as they relied on each other for support, it's done the opposite. She hasn't felt this disconnected to Stefan since before they were married. Sure, he has given to her since the loss of Richard, holding her for countless hours when she was crazy with grief. But throughout this whole ordeal, she can't recall a single time he's leaned on her, much less shared a moment of weakness.
On the contrary, Stefan has been remote, over-controlled in his expression of emotion. Almost cold and aloof, much like he was when he first arrived in Port Charles. It's like being married to a stranger.
Emily and Lucky recline on the blanket, with Lucky's head on Emily's stomach, both gazing up into the sky. The silence is comfortable as they both are absorbed in their own thoughts. Every once in a while, Emily runs her hand over Lucky's hair.
Finally, Emily is moved to speak. "I wish we could stay here forever."
"Yeah," Lucky agrees wistfully. "Me too. It's so peaceful here. I can almost forget everything else. Almost."
"Anything I can do to make you forget everything else completely? For a little while, I mean."
Lucky smiles secretly. "Hmmm.. what would it take.. oh, I think you kissing me might be a start. Yeah, we could try that. "
As Emily sits up, Lucky props himself up on the blanket with his elbow, flashing his most flirtatious smile. Emily busts out laughing. "Oh, how I've missed this side of you, Lucky Spencer." Giving him a firm shove, she rolls him onto his back with her on top. Looking down into his face, her hair forms a curtain between them and the rest of the world. Lowering her lips to his for the briefest of kisses, she pulls away again to gaze at him. "I love you, Lucky."
Lucky suddenly becomes serious and stares at her intently, memorizing her face at this very moment. "I've learned a very important thing during this whole mess. Seize happiness while you have it. Because tomorrow it may be gone." Brushing her hair away from her face, he whispers, "I love you, Emily Bowen Quartermaine."
Lucky cups her face in his hands, brushing her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. Then ever so slowly, he lowers her lips again to his. The kiss starts slow as he explores her mouth, relearning how she feels in his arms, her unique heady taste. He has the feeling of being lightheaded as he loses himself in her.
Emily groans, so sweet and complete the kiss from Lucky. She strains to deepen it, but he refuses, instead taking his time kissing her, showing his devotion to her. He breaks his hold on her mouth to rain kisses on her face.. first her eyelids, then her cheeks, the corners of her mouth, while his hands stroke her hair and face.
His tenderness and reverence overwhelm Emily, making her heart hurt with the fullness of being loved so completely. "Lucky--" She whispers in a cracked voice.
"Shshhhh," Lucky stops her with a kiss. "Let me show how much I love you. Let me give back to you some of what you've given me. Please..."
Tears fill Emily's eyes, the vulnerability scaring her. But she recognizes that it's also exciting. She knows there's nothing more powerful than giving herself completely to another person.
Lucky kisses her tears away. "Tell me these are good tears, Emily," He pleads. "Tell me I haven't hurt you again."
"No, I mean yes." Laughing hysterically, Emily explains. "I mean, I'm happy, happier than I can ever remember being. I love you more than I'll ever love anyone else, Lucky."
Lucky rolls Emily onto her back and gathers her in a painfully tight grip. "I won't ever give you cause to regret loving me. I promise."
At General Hospital, Stefan walks the halls of the hospital, every once in a while giving a cursory nod to a nurse or doctor he recognizes. Eventually, almost of their own volition, his legs take him down the hall to the maternity ward and nursery. His chest heavy, he stares at the door to the nursery intensely, as if he's trying to burn a hole through it. Then, against his better judgment, he finds himself walking towards it.
A lump in his throat forms, almost cutting off his ability to breathe. The scent unique to the nursery fills his nostrils, and within moments tears burn his eyes. Like a zombie he wanders over to the window and gazes in at the newborn babies. There are two... one is peacefully asleep while the other struggles to free itself of it's swaddling blanket. Closing his eyes, Stefan rests his head on the nursery window.
A moment later, Stefan hears footsteps behind him and turns to find Nikolas staring at him with a look of alarm on his face. "What are you doing here? Why are you torturing yourself like this?!" Nikolas asks as he puts a firm hand on Stefan's shoulder.
Stefan swipes a tear from his eye. "I had a free moment before my meeting, and I..."
"No, that's not true. I know you don't have any meetings today," Nikolas insists. "We discussed your schedule at length this morning. Come on, you don't need to be here, I'll take you home."
Stefan, his shoulders stooped, nods in defeat as he allows Nikolas to lead him away. "All right, as you wish."
Dear Diary,
Today was such an incredible day, I can hardly believe it!
For the last month, it's been so awful. Watching Lucky struggle with the loss of Richard and his helplessness at not being able to find him. It's been a roller coaster, just trying to be there for him.
But today was different. Lucky and I decided to take an afternoon off from our real world problems. We took a picnic lunch out to the park and just ate and laid around, talked about nothing, and then didn't talk at all. Lucky let himself really relax. What a difference that made.
Then one thing led to another and he kissed me. He didn't just kiss me... it was like I was the most important thing to him in the whole world. What an indescribable feeling that is! I think I've fallen in love with him all over again as if I wasn't already madly in love with him. I think if we'd been somewhere private instead of the park, we would have made love.
I feel like I'm actually physically glowing. That looks weird, just seeing those words written. Am I a sap or what?
I'm glad we didn't make love today, because I want the next time we make love to be a conscious decision, not an impulsive one based on pure lust. And I don't want anything to change this feeling I'm having.
Pure joy, that's what I'm feeling.
Yep, I'm a sap. It's official.
I gotta go. The family is waiting for me to come downstairs before starting dinner. Monica is on this 'family dinner' kick. I'd be annoyed if I wasn't so obnoxiously happy.
Em
Chapter 48 See You In My Dreams Early Evening, shortly after Nikolas brought him home, Stefan makes his way down the path to the small one story ranch house he had built for Laura and their expanding family. Once he reaches the clearing where the house is visible, he stops momentarily to gaze at it.
It's simple but attractive design does nothing to detract from the breathtaking view of the water. With the sun setting over the water, the golden hues give it a magical look. The flowers, in bloom all around the entryway, only serve to enhance it's beauty.
A dream, a fantasy, that is what the house represented to him. And he had been taught from a very early age not to give either any weight. Somewhere along the line he'd forgotten that. Careless and foolishly optimistic, and now his family is being made to pay. He vows silently never to forget it again.
He gingerly steps through the well-kept flower garden to the front door. Unlocking it, he steps through into what was to have been his future. As if to highlight the point, the smell of dead air assaults his nostrils. Without emotion, he notes that all the furniture in the main living area is covered with sheets to prevent the accumulation of dust.
Taking in a deep breath he strolls through the house, inevitably finding himself drawn to the nursery door. After a moment's hesitation while he steels himself, he opens the door to find that the nursery furniture is intact, with no protective covering. A thick layer of dust covers everything. Wandering around the room, Stefan runs a hand over the family cradle, revealing the richly carved mahogany wood beneath. For the second time in one day, tears fill Stefan's eyes.
Luke's club is half full with customers, and a soulful saxophone plays blues music in the background, when Nikolas walks through the entrance. Surveying the room, Nikolas notices that Lucky is busy with a customer. He grabs a stool at the bar and waits for Lucky to finish.
A few minutes later, Lucky takes a seat next to Nikolas. "Hey, how did Gina's doctor appointment go today? Everything okay with the baby?"
"Gina is fine, and the baby is thriving." Nikolas waves down the bartender and orders a drink. "One more month. I don't know how Gina and I are going to make it. The waiting and worrying is already driving us crazy." Taking a sip of his drink, he changes the subject. "How did your date with Emily go?"
Lucky rolls his eyes. "Man, can't keep a secret around Wyndemere, can you? You'd never guess sweet quiet Mrs Lansbury is the town gossip."
Nikolas smirks. "Not the town gossip, just of Wyndemere. I saw her making up the basket for you and Emily. So, how'd it go?"
"I don't kiss and tell, Man." Lucky's eyes twinkle and he can't hide a smile. "But let's just say it went better than I planned. Emily has really gotten the short stick with me since Richard disappeared. She deserved a day off from my moods."
"Don't we all?" Nikolas teases. "Oh, before I forget. I have pictures of Cassidy with her new baby, Carida. They came in the mail today." He searches his pockets until he finds a small packet, which he hands to Lucky. "I thought you might want to see them."
Lucky's smile widens as he flips through the pictures. "Aw, she's a cutie, like her mom. How's Cassidy doing? Is she tired of Mike's hovering yet? He's been out there almost a month now."
"Cassidy says Jerry has to pry Carida out of Mike's arms just get time with his new daughter." Nikolas looks over Lucky's shoulder and shares a chuckle over a picture of Mike cooing at Cari.
"So far no one has attempted to grab Cari?" Lucky asks.
Nikolas shakes his head. "No, thankfully. We have continued the heightened security as a precaution, but Cassidy is starting to complain. She says she doesn't want to live with guards indefinitely."
"Can you blame her? It makes me nuts just seeing Mom and Lulu living under those conditions, and I don't even have to live that way." Handing the photos back to Nikolas, Lucky gives him a hard look. "I'm surprised Gina hasn't been chafing under the house arrest you've put her under, but I think that's because she's too terrified of what will happen to her baby to protest too much."
Nikolas jaw tightens. "Don't make trouble where this isn't any, Lucky. Gina is fine with the way things are."
"For the moment, maybe. But what about when Gina wants to take the bambino to the park? Will she go surrounded by guards, so she can't even enjoy the view or breathe the fresh air?" To stop himself from being even more blunt, Lucky stands to leave, but then can't seem to stop himself. "And I think you know, I won't be the one to stir up trouble. Gina will come to her own conclusions eventually. That leash you have her on is short by even Cassadine standards."
Scowling at Lucky, Nikolas sits back on his stool and crosses his arms. "Are you finished?"
Lucky shrugs and sits back down next to Nikolas. "Yeah, for the moment."
"Good. Because I also came by to remind you that Alexis is out of town and I'll be helping you with any new leads on Richard while she is unavailable. Alexis and Stone flew out to Switzerland to see Cassidy and the new baby this morning. She will be returning in a couple days and bringing Mike back with her."
Lucky nods. "So how is Mom? I didn't make it out to Wyndemere to see her today. When I called she was already asleep."
"She's better, though she still isn't eating properly." Nikolas puts the packet of photos back in his pocket. "To tell you the truth, I am more concerned about Stefan at this point. I caught him standing outside the nursery at General Hospital looking at the newborn babies."
"You know me, the less I think of Stefan the better," Lucky quips, his voice sounding bored. "But maybe it's a good thing. Maybe this is his way of dealing with Richard's disappearance."
"Perhaps." Nikolas pauses to take another sip. "But I just can't help feeling uneasy."
Sometime later, a stoic Stefan opens his cell phone and makes a call. "Robins, I have an assignment I want you to handle which requires the utmost care. I want you to oversee the closing of the ranch house on the south end of the island. Put the furniture in storage..... Yes I am certain, all of it. Then I want the house sealed off."
Late at night, Nikolas sleeps with Gina beside him, his arm draped lightly over her swollen abdomen. Then, as he becomes restless, he begins to toss and turn, obviously in the throes of a dream....
A exuberant Nikolas stands in the General Hospital nursery, cradling his newborn baby boy wrapped in a light blue baby blanket. Nikolas coos softly to the baby, telling him how much he is loved and cherished, promising protection from all harm. Laura, Stefan, and Gina stand in the background smiling approvingly at him. He looks up to whisper 'I love you' to Gina, only to find when he looks down at his son again that the blanket is empty. Panic seizes him and he screams at the top of his lungs for help. Stefan, Laura and Gina look at him sadly, shaking their heads in helpless resignation and walking away. Nikolas stands alone in the nursery with tears streaming down his face.
Nikolas wakes with a start, bolting upright in bed. So real is the dream that beads of perspiration cover his head and his face is wet with tears. It takes him a moment to orient himself again. Just then he feels Gina's cool hand on his shoulder.
"Did you have another nightmare, Nikolas?" Gina asks in a sleepy voice. "They seem to be coming every night now."
Shaking off the horror of the dream, Nikolas gathers her up in his arms tightly. Placing a gentle kiss on her temple, he whispers. "It's nothing, Gina. Go back to sleep."
Two am, Emily picks up her phone on the first ring, despite the fact that she was asleep. "Hey Handsome. I didn't think I'd hear from you tonight."
Lucky, settled on his own bed, sighs. "I didn't think I'd be calling either, but I can't sleep."
Knowing this won't be a short call, Emily pulls herself to a sitting position and yawns widely. "What happened? Did you talk to your mom tonight? Did she have another setback?"
"No... actually I didn't talk to my mom at all today." Lucky closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then remembering Emily can't see him, he speaks up. "Maybe that's why I can't stop my mind. Every time I try to close my eyes, I lay there thinking of Richard, then Mom, Nikolas, Gina, and for some stupid reason I'm even thinking about Stefan. Like I give a rat's behind what happens to him. What is wrong with me?"
"He's your mom's husband, whether you hate him or not," Emily reasons. "And he's Richard's father. You've been dealing with him on practically a daily basis, civilly I might point out."
"How can I keep hating him, when I feel sorry for the guy?" Lucky blurts out in a rush. "See that's the thing. Nikolas came in tonight all worried about Uncle Stiff. At the time I told Nik not to worry, but as I think about it, I have to agree. The guy is not taking his son's disappearance well."
"So, you're worried about him."
"No, I mean yeah, but only because of how it might shake out for my mom. Man, I don't know if this makes any sense. But my mom needs him now, you know? I can see that. She wouldn't have made it through this whole mess without him. So how can I be angry about her marrying the guy.. yet..." Lucky's voice suddenly gets small. "I feel guilty. Like I'm letting down my dad, that somehow during this whole thing it became okay for my mom to marry Stefan. But how can I stay mad at my mom? Ugh, this whole thing makes my stomach hurt."
"We've discussed this before. You can't stay mad at her," Emily reminds him. "Not right now, it's more important for you to help your mom than it is to be angry. Or has that changed?"
"No. It hasn't changed," Lucky answers with a tinge of resignation. "And it can't until my mom has made it back to her old self. If I distance myself from her right now, and she never recovers, I'll always wonder if it was my fault."
"So it's got you twisted in knots," Emily sympathizes. "I wish your choices were easier."
"Yeah, but at least talking it over with you again, I remember the reasons why I'm doing what I'm doing." Lucky's voice becomes soft, filled with love. "What would I do without you? Without these middle of the night conversations?
"Sleep." After they share a chuckle, Emily says more seriously, "You'd still do what you're doing. In the end, you always do the right thing."
"Maybe, but I'd be a lot more confused... and lonely... and angry." Lucky sighs again. "Basically no use to anyone, including myself."
"Well, I'm glad to be of help, you know that. I'd do anything for you."
"I wish you still had that apartment above Kelly's, " Lucky says in a wistful tone. "I miss spending my nights with you."
Emily gives a small whimper. "No fair! Now you've got me longing for it too."
"What can I say? Misery loves company," Lucky cracks, then gets serious again. "Those were happy times, Emily. I'd give anything to go back to that."
