Chapters 35 & 36

 

Chapter 35: Close Encounter

Cassadine retreat... Alexis sits on the couch in Justus' arms after her breakdown sometime earlier. Her flood of tears slowly becomes a gasping trickle as he rubs her back soothingly while murmuring softly to her.

"I... I'm sor... sorry." Alexis manages to stutter out. She forcibly takes several deep breaths to compose herself. "Th.. this isn't li.. like me."

"Don't be embarrassed," Justus assures her gently. "You obviously needed to let go. Given what you've lost, I think it's perfectly natural. And I'm guessing you really haven't let yourself cry like that."

"I haven't... not for a long time anyway." Alexis blows her nose. "I couldn't... I was afraid if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop. And Stone counts on me. I can't be an emotional wreck and be the mom he needs me to be."

"At the risk of being preachy, you can't be the mom you need to be if you're holding all this grief in." Justus strokes her hair soothingly. "It's easy for me to say, isn't it? I don't have to live with what you live with."

Alexis leans against his chest and breathes in deeply, thankful to have some control over her emotions again. "Thank you, for being here. Somehow, you being with me, holding me, gave me the assurance that I could let go the way I needed to and come back out of it intact."

Justus brushes her hair out her face, looking her in the eye. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. But if you think my being here helped in some way, I'm glad." He kisses the top of her head and pulls her closer. "You are an incredible woman, Alexis. I'm honored that you trusted me enough to share what you shared tonight... I know trust isn't easy for you to give. But you won't ever have cause to regret it."

Alexis doesn't answer, not really caring to hear the specifics of what he's saying. All that matters at this moment is that she doesn't want him to stop holding her. She turns in his arms and hugs him back fiercely.

For several minutes they embrace each other in silence, both reluctant to break the mood. Cupping her cheeks, Justus tilts Alexis' tear-streaked face up for him to study, and the vulnerability combined with trust he sees in her eyes causes him to suck in his breath. He uses the pads of this thumbs to tenderly wipe away the last vestiges of her tears. Without thinking of the consequences, he places a whisper-soft kiss on each cheek, then a lingering one on her lips.

Alexis' mouth opens to deepen the kiss, her hands weaving around his neck and pulling him closer still. Her tongue caresses his intimately, erotically. His pulse racing, Justus becomes lost in the feel and taste of her mouth, wanting more, seeking more.

When Alexis' hands begin to part his robe, his sanity returns. He pulls away with a groan. "Alexis!" He takes a several steadying breaths as he stills her hands. "This is.... wrong. You've had a very emotional night. I won't take advantage of your vulnerability, it would be wrong, very wrong. You'd regret it and I'd hate myself for being a selfish bastard in taking what you're offering. You're still hooked on Sonny, and I can't be a substitute for him. I'm not Sonny. I can't be Sonny. I'm Justus, that's the only man I care to be."

"I know," Alexis replies softly, her eyes large, luminous, and vulnerable. "You and I together tonight, that should be all wrong. But somehow it doesn't feel that way. Being with you now, I feel more alive than I've felt since Sonny died. It's like I turned a corner... and decided to live. And I have to live... I have an infant son to raise. Kissing you just now is an affirmation that I'm not dead, that I don't want to feel dead anymore." Suddenly she realizes how she sounds and a look of mortification crosses her face. "Oh my God, what am I doing? I sound so pathetic, like I'm begging you to make love to me. I... I'm sorry, just forget what I just said."

Alexis tries to disentangle herself from Justus, but he holds onto her tightly. "Alexis, don't," He pleads, alarmed at the sight of her shutting down, pulling away. "That's not how it sounded at all. Please don't run away... you can trust me, I think I've proven that tonight. Just listen, please."

His plea to trust him ends her struggle to get away from him. "You've been very kind to me. For a minute, I misunderstood your kindness for attraction. Please forgive me and know I'll be forever grateful for what you've done for me tonight."

"You didn't misunderstand anything. Look at me, Alexis." When she does, he touches her cheek with the back of his hand. "You're so beautiful and passionate, you take my breath away." He caresses the side of her neck with his hand, marveling at how soft her skin is, how her breathing changes when he touches her. "And Lord help me, but I want you right now... right or wrong."

Justus kisses her, this time quickly developing into a searing kiss full of raw desire. His strong hands travel up and down her slim form, learning her delicate curves through her clothes. She responds with equal fervor, reinitiating an erotic dance with his tongue. Their kiss combined with the arousing feel of his hands on her body causes her to tremble. Justus pulls her into lap and stands up with her in his arms. "Where is your bedroom?"

Alexis wraps her arms around his neck and burrows her face into his chest, immersing herself in his unique male scent. "Down the hall, last doorway on the left."

His mouth never leaving hers during the walk to the bedroom, he sits on the bed with her in his lap. Once she's settled comfortably, his lips nuzzle her ear and the hollow of her neck, his five o'clock shadow rasping against her sensitive smooth skin. His hands resume their leisurely exploration of her face, hair and lastly the feel of her shapely strong body hidden underneath the bulky sweater.

Tentatively Alexis reaches out a hand and brushes her knuckles along Justus' bare chest, parting his robe as she does so. Satisfied with the elicited moan, She nips playfully at the underside of his jaw. She smiles seductively at feeling him shudder and his hands faltering in their loving caress. "You like that?" She purrs, taking several more nips under his jaw as she kneads the hard muscles in his chest.

"No, I hate it, all of it. Never do it again," Justus gasps, suddenly lifting her off his lap and laying her in the middle of the bed. Slipping off his robe in single fluid motion, he crawls across the bed towards Alexis, staring at her with unabashed desire. Removing her sweater with her help, Justus soaks in the sight of her, his eyes devouring every inch of creamy skin that is revealed. "You are perfect."

Feeling self-conscious about herself in the face of his open admiration, Alexis murmurs, "No one is perfect. I'm not the same since I carried Stone."

Justus eases off her jeans, his hands cherishing her as if she is the most precious thing in the world. "And why would you want to be the same?" He asks, astonished. "You're perfect. This body has carried a little life inside of it, that's the greatest beauty there is." He rises above her and captures her mouth again with his. "And you are very much alive, Alexis, and completely irresistible."

Drowning in his deep brown eyes and the feel of their bodies joining in love and passion, Alexis' fears and anxieties evaporate. "I want so much to feel alive." She reaches for him, abandoning herself to the pleasure they are creating together.

Sometime later at the Cassadine retreat.

"Wow!" Alexis exclaims, rolling onto her back as she tries to get her breathing back under control. She looks over at Justus in undisguised amazement. "That was a complete surprise... incredible. I realize I haven't been around much, and I don't have much to compare it to.. but still-- that was absolutely incredible."

Justus chuckles deep in his throat as he pulls her against his chest. "I aim to please... I aim to please." He nuzzles her neck and pulls the lobe of her ear into his mouth briefly. "You were pretty amazing yourself, Alexis. I'm in complete awe." His hands rove up and down her body, pausing in their travels only to more completely caress a sensitive area." Frankly, I couldn't keep my hands off you if I tried. Not that I want to. Even the feel of your skin seduces me." He lifts her chin so his mouth can captures hers in a deeply erotic kiss.

Alexis gasps into his mouth as she turns to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Don't stop, I love how it feels to be with you. I never want this to end."

"Neither do I, Alexis. Neither do I." Justus rolls her on top so she's straddling him and he smiles up at her in wonder. "Make love to me. Let's see if we can make this time as incredible as our first."

Alexis smiles secretly as she playfully nips at his chin. "Ohhh, I'm all for that. I should warn you, though, I am very tenacious when I'm put to the challenge." Justus' shout of laughter is cut short when she covers his mouth with hers.

Alexis eyes blink open as morning's first light shines through the window. Her first thought is to how relaxed and at peace she feels. She lays there for several minutes without moving, letting her mind wander without demanding anything from it. The solitude of the moment is broken when a pair of strong arms make themselves known by pulling her close to their owner.

Alexis smiles sleepily, nestling closer to Justus as she remembers the exquisite pleasure they shared the previous night. Even now, his body feels comforting and safe. She doesn't analyze beyond that feeling, but instead just lets herself enjoy the simplicity of the moment.

"Good morning, Beautiful," Justus murmurs into her ear before kissing her bare shoulder. "Did you sleep well?"

Alexis' smile turn into a grin. "Like a baby, for the few hours you let me sleep."

"Hey!" Justus protests, pretending to be offended. "It wasn't me that kept YOU up all night. I distinctly remember you keeping me up." His voice softens to a seductive purr, his hands beginning to roam again. "You and your delectable body."

Alexis groans blissfully in response to his caress, instantly becoming aroused to his touch. "You continue torturing me like that, and I can't promise to lie still for it."

"Good," Justus replies. "Because I can't think of a better way to wake up than making love with you."

Later in the morning, Alexis looks out the living room window dressed in a bathrobe. While last night all she'd been able to see was sheets and sheets of pouring rain, this morning she gazes at the serene view of the bright sun on the surrounding vegetation.

Justus appears at the end of the hall dressed in a robe. After silently taking in the sight of Alexis staring out the window, he crosses the room and comes up behind her. After a moment's hesitation, he wraps his arms around her and asks, "Regrets?"

Alexis sighs sadly. "Not exactly regrets ... but I feel so guilty. Like being with you last night was a betrayal to the memory of Sonny. it's not so easy to banish the guilt, no matter how much I want to."

Justus kisses the back of her head tenderly. "Being with me last night, or being with any man, doesn't change the fact that you love Sonny. You will probably always love him. What IS different is that you've made the decision to move on with you life... to get back to the business of living, so you can raise your son and be happy."

"I know. Everything you just said, I've said to myself too... over and over. It's just..." Alexis sighs again. "This is a terrible thing to say. But the happier I am without Sonny, the more guilt I feel."

Justus holds her tighter, feeling helpless against her self doubt.. "Feeling guilty enough to go back to the way things were before I came last night?"

"No, I never want to go back to feeling that depressed again," Alexis answers firmly as she recalls the agony of the last few days. "There's no going back, I know that." She turns in his embrace and wraps her arms around his waist. "But the road back to the living isn't as straight or as easy as it seems."

Justus runs his hands through her hair as he kisses her upturned face. "True, it won't be easy... but that's true of anything worth having." He plants soft kisses on each of her eyelids. "And you, My Dear, are priceless."

"Justus..." Alexis begins, but he stops her by putting his forefinger on her lips.

"Shhhh, it's okay. I don't expect anything." He studies her face intensely as he strokes it with the back of his hand. "I know you have a lot to work through, and I might not figure in the mix at all. I just want you to know that I think you're worth waiting for."

 

Chapter 36 Mother's Day

The new house on Spoon Island. Lulu scampers from room to room with Laura trailing behind her at a much slower pace. The main living areas have been painted in subtle tones and filled with Early American style furniture. "So what do you think, Lulu? Stefan and I thought the bedroom at the end of the hall would be perfect for you."

Lulu skips into the room Laura just referred to and frowns. "It's so plain." The room is empty except for some white bedroom furniture. The walls are white and there isn't any curtains or bedding.

Laura joins Lulu in the bedroom. "That's because I didn't want to pick anything out until I asked you. What do you think about having a mural painted on the far wall? It could be a picture of anything you want. Animals... a palace..."

Lulu is confused. "A mural? What's that?"

"A mural is a picture that's painted directly on the wall. It can take up the WHOLE wall." Laura sweeps her hand along the wall. "Would you like a mural in your bedroom?"

Lulu's eyes widen. "Really? The whole wall? Of anything I want?!" She prances around the room beaming with excitement. "I want a picture of unicorns... and a castle.. and an enchanted forest! Can all that fit on the wall?"

Laura smiles encouragingly. "I'm sure it can."

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Lulu twirls around in the center of the room. "This room is going to be the prettiest room EVER! I can't wait to tell Georgie!"

"I'm glad you're so excited." Laura reaches out her hand to Lulu. "Right now it's time to go see Lucky. He's meeting us in the park."

At Jason's penthouse, Alexis scoops Stone up in her arms. "Hi, Big Boy! Did you miss me? I missed you tons! Yes I did." Stone wriggles against his mother's kisses while at the same time giggling.

Jason watches the reunion from a few feet away. "Believe me, he missed you. Especially at bedtime."

"He didn't fuss too much, did he?" Alexis asks as she gives up the battle to hold onto Stone and puts him down.

"Nah, not much. Whenever he seemed to miss you, I just played that tape you made before you left and he settled right down." Jason grabs Stone before he knocks over the trash can and bounces him playfully a few times before putting him back down, pointing him in the opposite direction. "He's a great kid. I think he'll be walking early considering how determined he is to get around."

Alexis puts her hand on Jason's arm and gives him a grateful look. "Thank you, I really needed this time to sort things out. There's no way I could have done it with Stone around."

Jason pulls her into a hug. "I was happy to help you out and spend time with Stone. You seem more relaxed. I wouldn't exactly say you look happy, but then that wasn't the goal."

"No, it wasn't, but I do feel like I can go on now and have a future. I didn't really see a future for me before I left." Alexis picks up the diaper bag and Stone. "We should get out of your hair. I'm sure you have business that needs attending to, and Stone and I have a date with the neighborhood playground. I'll send Jan over for the rest of Stone's things. Thanks again, Jason." She raises the pitch of her voice as she addresses herself to Stone. "Okay Big Guy, time to wave bye bye to Jason."

At the park, Lucky and Lulu sit on a bench quietly eating ice cream cones with a frisbee between them. Lucky looks over at Lulu. "Hey, you're awful quiet, Squirt. What's up?"

"Nothing." Lulu kicks her legs back and forth under the bench while licking her cone.

Lucky tousles her hair. "Liar. Every time you get ready to say something you clam up. What's up with that? Are you still mad at me about taking off for a few months?"

"No.... it's not that." Lulu looks at the ground. "You don't like it when I talk about Stefan. and Wyndemere. You always get a funny look on your face."

"I do, don't I?" Lucky pauses to think for a moment. "I suppose it's true that Stefan and Wyndemere aren't my favorite topics these days, but if it has to do with you, I want to hear about it. Spill, Kid."

Lulu looks at Lucky dubiously, but when he nods encouragingly, she can hardly contain the gush of excitement. "I went and saw the new house today. Mommy says I can have my room anyway I want it. I'm going to have a mural of unicorns and a castle. The house is kind of small, but it has really huge windows. You can see the lake from the living room, it's so cool!"

"Wait, a new house?" Lucky interjects. "Where is it?"

"It's on Spoon Island," Lulu explains. "Just a little ways from Wyndemere. It's so pretty. Not all dark like Wyndemere. And in the front there's this really pretty flower garden. Mom says I can have my own little flower bed if I want. I'm going to plant daisies and everything!"

Lucky gulps down his shock. "You, Mom, Stefan, and the new baby are going to live there?"

"Yep. I get my own bedroom and so does the baby. Nikolas and Gina are staying at Wyndemere." Suddenly Lulu gets somber when she notices that Lucky looks upset. "If you want to live with us, I'm sure Mom and Stefan wouldn't mind. You could stay in my room, or Stefan could have another room built. He does stuff like that all the time."

Lucky manages a weak smile. "No thanks, I have a place of my own now... Hey, you ready for some more frisbee?"

Lulu jumps up. "Okay! Can you show me that neat frisbee trick again?"

Emily is on the Quartermaine terrace reading one of her textbooks when Monica peeks her head through the double doors from the living room. "Hi, Emily. Mind if I join you? It's a beautiful day out and I thought I'd enjoy the sun before going off to the hospital."

Emily looks up briefly. "Sure, if you want."

Monica sits across the table, watching Emily read while she struggles with something on her mind. Finally she speaks. "Emily, there are some things I'd like to talk over with you."

Emily sighs inwardly, this conversation has been coming since breakfast when Monica was stealing glances at her over the croissants. Might as well get it over with now. She closes her text book and plops it on the table. "Sure, go ahead."

"It's about Lucky," Monica begins. "Now I know you're old enough to know your own mind, but I have to tell you that your father and I are quite worried about you. We hated how miserable you were after Lucky took off last time and we don't want to see you hurt again."

Lucky's not going to hurt me again, Mom," Emily answers firmly. "He promised me he's here to stay, and I believe him."

"I know you want to believe him, Sweetheart. But the fact remains that he took off with hardly a moment's notice last time. I'm sure he means to be sincere, to keep his promises. But he isn't reliable... you know that." Monica reaches over and takes Emily's hand and gives it a squeeze. "Please, protect yourself, Emily, or he'll break your heart all over again."

"Like I haven't had my heart broken with 'sincere' promises in this house," Emily mutters under her breath. When Monica begins to protest, Emily stops her, fighting to keep her tone neutral. "I'm sorry, I know you love me and just want what's best for me, and I appreciate that. But you don't have to worry; Lucky isn't going to hurt me like that again. I'm as sure of it as I am of anything. He loves me."

Monica shakes her head ruefully. "I think it's sweet that you have so much faith in him, but that faith is misplaced. He's said he loved you before, but did that stop him from leaving you alone and hurting? You can't trust him, Emily."

Monica's statement about trust is the last straw; Emily stands up angrily. "Trust?! You dare to tell me that I can't trust Lucky after all this family has done to hurt me? Let's look at the scoreboard, shall we? Who lies to me whenever it's convenient? You, Dad, Grandfather, even AJ and Ned. Who's left me alone time after time to fend for myself while the family deals with one crisis or another? Let's see... there was your affair with Dorman, the Dorman trial, then there's Dad's addiction.. which got so bad I was actually afraid of him. Shall I go on? What family attacks it's members whenever anything goes wrong? And who has made it so that I don't want to celebrate my birthday anymore? That's pretty pathetic track record, isn't it? And that's not even counting Dad's recent attempt to force me back home by taking me to court."

Monica's mouth works, but nothing comes out. Emily takes a deep breath and continues. "Then there's Lucky. Yeah, he's lied to me about his mom being dead and left town a couple times when I needed him. But you know what? He was there for me after Dorman died. He held my hand through my addiction and made sure I got through it and felt good about myself in the process. He's been there for me through practically every crisis I've had with this family and he's never once told me to turn my back on you. NEVER. You should be thankful that I'm so willing to forgive and trust. Because if I weren't, I would have rid myself of this insane family a long time ago."

She grabs her textbook off the table and walks away, turning back one last time before leaving the terrace completely. "I love Lucky, and there's nothing you or Dad or Grandfather can say that will change how I feel about him. Maybe it's time you realized that this is MY life to run. And MY mistakes to make."

At the park, Laura arrives as Lulu and Lucky finish up their game of frisbee. Lulu runs over to give her mother a hug while Lucky stands a distance away with his arms crossed. "Mommy! Guess what Lucky taught me today?" Lulu breaks off the embrace to show Laura the trick of throwing the frisbee from behind her back. Lulu fumbles through the trick and manages to throw the frisbee a few feet. "See?! Isn't it neat?"

"Very good, Lulu! I'm very impressed," Laura exclaims enthusiastically. She looks over at Lucky, who's still standing several yards away, trying not to scowl. She gives him a tentative smile. "Hi, Lucky."

"Hi," Is Lucky's only reply.

Laura spies Alexis and Stone by the swings and points them out to Lulu. "Lulu, why don't you go say hi to Alexis and Stone for a few minutes?"

Lulu skips off without another word while Laura closes the distance between her and Lucky. She tries to make eye contact with him, but he stares at a far-off tree. "Is something the matter, Lucky?"

Lucky walks a few feet away to look at Lulu playing with Stone. "Not anything I want to talk about."

Laura sighs, she expected this. The honeymoon period after their reunion is over, she's actually surprised that it had lasted this long. But she also knows from the look on Lucky's face that pressing would only make it worse.

"Did Steffin tell you he paid me a visit?" Lucky asks, breaking into her thoughts. "Of course he did, I wouldn't be surprised if you sent him in the first place."

"Yes, he told me... but I didn't ask him to talk to you." Laura walks a few steps closer to Lucky. "He told me the two of you agreed to a truce for me and Lulu... I just want you to know I appreciate how hard that must have been..."

Lucky loses his tentative hold on his temper. "Just keep your appreciation to yourself, okay? I hate Stefan, I will always hate him and I'll never forgive you for marrying him. He's the reason Dad's dead and I don't have any family to speak of." He stalks away for a few steps then returns, this time coming up into Laura's face. "How could you turn your back on Dad so completely? How could you let Lulu forget Dad? Lulu told me about the new house... about her fancy new room and mural. You plan to let Stefan be her father..." His mouth twists into a bitter smile. "Or maybe you've forgotten who Lulu's dad is."

Laura looks stricken. "That isn't true at all! I know Luke is Lulu's father and Lulu will always know that! I will make sure of it. But what am I supposed to do? Tell Stefan I won't accept a house where both Lulu and I will be happy? Lulu deserves to be happy."

Lucky swears under his breath. "All I know is it seems like you already forgotten Dad. Here you are, planning this great life with Stefan and taking Lulu along with the ride. And where does that leave me? Nowhere."

"I think about Luke every day, I miss him more than anyone can know... anyone. It's a pain so private, no one will ever understand, not even you." Laura lays a hand on Lucky's shoulder, which he quickly wrenches away. She bites her lip unhappily. "What can I do to make this easier for you? Tell me, and if I can do it, I will."

"It's too late for you to do anything, Mom. You can't change the choices you've made..." Lucky shakes his head and walks away sadly. "And I can't change who I am, nor would I want to. Tell Lulu goodbye for me. If I stick around, she'll be able to tell I'm upset and she doesn't need to worry about me."