Chapters 91 & 92
Chapter 91 Without Permission
"Hi, Nikolas. Come on in." Laura closes the door and follows him into the Spencer living room. "I'm a bit surprised to see you so early, I thought I wouldn't see you until this afternoon when you brought Lulu home from daycare."
Nikolas takes a seat on the sofa, his manner somewhat tentative. "I had some things I wanted to discuss with you. I hope it's okay that I didn't call first?"
"No that's fine! " Laura rushes to assure him, smiling at him encouragingly. "I'm glad you just stopped by. To be honest I'm pleased that you feel comfortable just dropping by. That's how it should be with mothers and sons."
Nikolas takes a deep breath before beginning. "I have some things I want to discuss with you, and I want to be certain that LesleyLu and Lucky don't interrupt us."
"Lucky's off registering for Fall classes. We won't be disturbed." Laura touches his knee briefly. "Go on."
"I'm concerned about LesleyLu." Nikolas takes her hand, an action very uncharacteristic of their relationship. "She was unusually clingy and weepy yesterday. Frankly, it scared me."
Laura looks apologetic. "I suppose I should have warned you..."
Nikolas stops her. "There is no reason for you to apologize. But it made me wonder if she's having trouble with nightmares and acting out again."
The sense of failing Lulu overwhelms Laura. She merely nods in answer to Nikolas' question, not able to trust her voice to remain calm.
Nikolas sighs. "How bad?"
"Very bad." Laura forces back the urge to cry. "Worse than right after Luke died. It's gotten better in the last few days... the nightmares aren't as severe and she hasn't had a full blown tantrum." She hesitates before continuing. "I'm sure Stefan told you that I don't want him to see her on a regular basis anymore. Has Lulu said anything to you?"
"Yes, he told me." Nikolas shakes his head unhappily. "Lulu's very upset, apparently she overheard your argument with him."
Laura sags a bit. "I was afraid of that."
"She needs to see a child psychologist," Nikolas says firmly. "I've already put in a call to a Dr Rothchild. She's a specialist in handling complicated cases of grief and loss in small children. She comes highly recommended."
"You called her without discussing it with me first?!" Despite her weariness, Laura's anger is aroused. "How could you, Nikolas! She's my daughter, I make the decisions regarding her welfare. You interference is uncalled for!"
Nikolas' temper flares and he shoves her hand away angrily. "I wanted to find out for myself how serious what LesleyLu is going through. What I found out alarmed me to the point that I took the first available appointment. Can you honestly say it's a bad idea for my sister to see a therapist given how distraught she is? What does it matter who makes the call when it's the right decision for LesleyLu!"
Not having the reserve to fight him, Laura shrivels under Nikolas' ire. "You're right, I'm sorry... I do need all the help I can get right now."
Nikolas takes a deep breath to calm his temper. "Dr Rothchild can come to Port Charles on Wednesday afternoon."
"That's fine," She says meekly. "I guess meeting here makes most sense. Do you have her phone number? I should probably call her myself."
Nikolas pulls a card out of his pocket and hands it to her. "Her number is written on the back."
"Thanks for doing this, Nikolas." Laura hugs him impulsively. "I guess I just needed a little push in the right direction."
Stefan stands outside the GH daycare with a small bundle under his coat. He searches the children's faces for a few moments until he locates Lulu. At that precise moment Lulu looks up and spies him at the doorway; a look of pure joy crosses her face. She bolts past the daycare workers and through the door. "Stefan!"
By this time, Stefan has removed the bundle from under his coat and has crouched down to hug her and show her his surprise , the small black kitten Timmy. "Hello, Angel. I brought you a friend."
Lulu is beside herself, not knowing which to hug, Stefan or the wriggling Timmy. She begins to cry in earnest. "Timmy, Stefan!"
Stefan rushes to hug her close, forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat. "Oh, Angel! Don't cry! Please don't cry."
Lulu grabs Timmy before he can escape and burrows her face in Stefan's chest, hanging onto him for dear life. "You came!"
"Yes, we couldn't stay away," Stefan whispers in her ear. "Timmy and I missed you too much."
A throat clears behind them. Stefan, noticing the female daycare worker standing nearby for the first time, lifts Lulu into his arms and greets her. "Hello, I should introduce myself..."
"No need to introduce yourself, Mr Cassadine," she says with a gracious smile. "My name's Linda Smithson, I run the daycare program. I wasn't aware that you were one of Lulu's special friends. Although I shouldn't be surprised with Nikolas visiting on a regular basis."
"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Smithson. I have heard only good things about your program." Stefan manages to shake her hand despite his precarious load.
"Thank you..." Linda glances at the clingy Lulu and then back to Stefan, looking torn. "The children aren't supposed to leave the daycare except with an authorized adult...."
"Of course." Stefan hesitates as he ponders the dilemma. "Would it be permissible to visit with LesleyLu inside the daycare?"
Linda considers for a moment then nods. "It's not usually allowed unless it's arranged ahead of time. But given the circumstances, we can make an exception... for you and the kitty." She smiles indulgently at Lulu who is now peeking out at her. "Do you want to share Timmy with the rest of the class, Lulu?"
Considering the request for a moment, Lulu kisses the top of the wriggling kitten's head and hands her over to Linda. "Bye, Timmy." She buries her face in Stefan's chest again.
"Thank you, Lulu! That was very generous of you. You sure you don't want to show him off yourself?" At getting a resounding shake of the head as a reply, Linda pats Lulu's back and addresses Stefan. "Feel free to sit anywhere you like."
Stefan smiles back appreciatively. "Thank you, Miss Smithson. You have been more than kind." After Linda leaves, he whispers in Lulu's ear, "So, what would you like to do, Angel?"
Lulu, now certain that she has Stefan all to herself, points to a deserted brightly colored play table with crayons and paper on it. "I want to color."
Stefan settles himself, with Lulu in his lap, under the midget table. Setting paper and crayons in front of both of them, he says, "Your wish is my command."
Lulu giggles, reaching up to kiss his bearded chin. "Draw a picture of me."
Stefan is temporarily stunned speechless by this new display of affection, then he chuckles. "Good choice, you picked my favorite subject. With or without Timoria?"
Laura, alone after Nikolas leaves, picks up the phone and dials the number for Dr Rothchild. "Yes, I'd like to speak to Dr Rothchild."
"Speaking," Says a mature woman's voice.
Laura, surprised to find the doctor answering her own phone, replies shyly. "Yes.. this is Laura Spencer. I understand you've been in contact with my son, Nikolas, regarding my daughter LesleyLu."
Gloria sits back in her chair, her voice warming. "Yes, Mrs Spencer, I'm glad you called."
"I understand that it's already been arranged for you to come to Port Charles on Wednesday," Laura says, her voice gaining strength. "But he didn't tell me where we would meet.... I was thinking here at my home."
"Actually, Mrs Spencer, Mr Cassadine arranged for us to have space at the hospital. My understanding is the office he reserved for us has a play therapy room attached."
Laura's mouth hangs open. "Mr Cassadine, as in Stefan Cassadine?"
"As a matter of fact, yes," Dr Rothchild replies smoothly. "He contacted me in Nikolas' stead before Nikolas arrived home. It's fortunate he did, otherwise I wouldn't have been available for another couple of weeks. Is there a problem?"
Laura's mouth clamps shut, her eyes blazing with renewed anger. "No, there's no problem," She says, her voice not betraying her feelings. "We'll meet as planned at the hospital Wednesday."
"Good," Dr Rothchild pulls a pad out of her desk and leans forward to prepare to write. "I have a few minutes now. Why don't you tell me, from your perspective, what's going on with your daughter LesleyLu?"
Alexis and Cassidy meet in the hospital cafeteria for lunch. As they settle themselves at their table, Alexis asks. "So how did the doctor's appointment go?"
Cassidy gives Alexis a weak smile. "Well the good news is I'm not going to die. In fact, I'm not even sick."
Alexis gives her an odd look, then the realization dawns. "Oh my God! You're--?"
Cassidy finishes for her. "Yep, pregnant. I still can't believe it, it's the last thing I expected."
"I should have guessed, you had all the symptoms. This is good news, isn't it?!" Alexis asks, slightly bewildered by Cassidy's less than enthusiastic response. "You should be thrilled!"
"Should I be? The man I love and the father of this child could be dead, and even if by some miracle he gets through this alive, there's a strong possibility he'll want nothing to do with me. And with my luck, he'll probably fight to get custody of the child." Cassidy throws down her sandwich. "Tell me again why I should be thrilled?"
Alexis grabs Cassidy's hand across the table and gives it a squeeze. "Oh honey, you aren't alone! Mike,Kevin, Stefan, and I will be right beside you. You'll be a wonderful mother."
Cassidy can't fight the tears that fill her eyes. "A child should be raised with two loving parents. While I may love my baby, I have nothing to give it, nothing! My life has been filled with nothing but lies and I have a long family history of certified looniness that would terrify most people. Add to it the fact that this baby's father hates it's mother. What does this child have to look forward to?"
"Stop it right there!" Alexis scolds. "Mike raised you all by himself and he did a terrific job under horrible circumstances. The reason he did so well was because he made sure you were safe and loved. You can provide that for this child, with or without Jerry's help."
"I wish I shared your optimism." Cassidy looks up at Alexis apologetically. "Do you mind if I cut short our lunch? I need some time to myself."
Alexis withdraws her hand, but the worried look on her face remains. "Of course I don't mind. But promise me you won't do anything rash, okay?"
"Promise." Cassidy pecks Alexis on the cheek as she leaves. "I'll see you at home later."
It's late afternoon near the GH nurses station. Stefan, after finishing a lengthy visit with Lulu in the GH daycare, flags down Emma Goldstein who is passing by. "Emma! I have been looking for you."
"Hello, Stefan." Emma gives him a tentative smile. "What can I do for you?"
Stefan falls in step with her as she makes her way to the sitting area. "I want to apologize for neglecting you. Family duties have been monopolizing my time of late. Still that is no excuse for my rudeness..."
Emma puts a hand on his arm, stopping him with a reassuring smile. "You have nothing to explain, Stefan. We had a few dates, that's all. And you warned me that your family takes precedence."
Stefan, pleased at how well the conversation is going, puts his hand on top of hers and leans his head towards her in a show of intimacy. "You are too generous, Emma, allow me to make this up to you. Do you have a date yet for the dedication to the Stone Cates Memorial Wing?"
His question peaks her interest. "As a matter of fact, I don't."
"Would you be opposed to dinner at the Port Charles Grille before the dedication?" Stefan asks.
"I would love it." Emma flushes when Stefan puts her hand to his lips. "I'd forgotten how charming you can be when you set your mind to it!"
"Can I take it that you approve?" Stefan says in a teasing tone, reluctantly releasing her hand.
Emma laughs. "Definitely!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Stefan spies Alexis leaving Tom Hardy's office. "Emma, I see my cousin and I must speak to her. I will call you with the details?"
Emma waves him off. "Sounds fine. Give Alexis my regards."
Stefan walks up behind Alexis. "What are you doing coming out of Hardy's office?"
Alexis jumps. "Stefan! Don't go scaring me like that."
"You didn't answer my question," Stefan persists, his expression foreboding. "What business do you have with Tom Hardy?"
Alexis glares right back at him. "Not that it's ANY of your business, but I had an appointment with him!" She turns on her heel and stalks off.
Stefan crosses his arms across his chest. "That won't do, Cousin. That won't do at all."
Chapter 92 The Doctor Is In
Laura, Nikolas and Lucky sit together in the hospital lounge. Nikolas and Lucky take turns pacing while Laura valiantly attempts to read a magazine. Lucky looks at his watch for the third time in a minute. "What's taking so damned long?"
Laura looks up from her magazine. "It's not like surgery, Lucky, she isn't going to be cured with one session, and a lengthy session doesn't mean it's going badly."
Lucky scowls. "I know that, I just can't stand the waiting and wondering. Dr Rothchild seems really nice, considering she's a shrink. She knew exactly what to ask during my interview with her."
"Nothing but the best for LesleyLu." Nikolas stops his pacing and looks at his watch impatiently. "They ARE taking a long time."
Laura gives up on the magazine and tosses it back on the coffee table. "Gloria said that the session might run over, depending on Lulu's receptiveness."
Just then, Lulu and a tall classically dressed woman in her fifties arrive on the scene holding hands. The woman crouches to Lulu's level and gives her a gentle smile. "It was sure nice meeting you, Lulu. Thanks for playing with me."
Lulu shrugs shyly. "Sure, it was fun. You have lots of cool toys!" She skips over to Nikolas, who lifts her up in his arms.
Laura turns to her sons. "Why don't you take Lulu for some ice cream and I'll meet you at home later?"
Lucky and Nikolas frown slightly, but at Laura's warning look, they nod and say their good byes. Gloria escorts Laura back to the therapy office.
"How did the session go?" Laura asks as soon as they are seated.
"Very well." Gloria says while straightening her skirt. "Lulu is a delightful child, surprisingly open with me given the losses she's suffered in the last year. Her trusting nature is a testament to how dearly loved she is by all the people in her life. She's also remarkably sophisticated for her five years, and very much aware of what's going on around her."
"That's all good," Laura says then hesitates before continuing, "I'm waiting for the 'but'."
Gloria smiles wryly. "Well she wouldn't be seeing me if there wasn't a 'but' somewhere, and it's a serious one."
Laura fidgets with her hands nervously. "Well, just tell it to me straight."
"I think you already know what it is," Gloria says quietly.
After a pregnant pause, Laura forces the words out. "She's upset with my decision to cut off her relationship with Nikolas' uncle, Stefan."
"In a word, yes." Gloria leans forward to stress her point. "Lulu has been very fragile since the loss of her father. The man that was there for her when no one else could be, was Stefan. Then, when she found her great aunt dead, she sought him out. Again, because the loved ones in her life were too overwrought to help her."
"I am aware of all that," Laura answers, trying very hard not to sound defensive. "But the question is, how do I handle the problem? Stefan Cassadine really has no place in our lives. I thought it would be better to cut off their relationship now rather than later, when it would hurt her more."
"Before I answer that, I need to ask you a few questions." Gloria gets her pad out to take notes. "Are you concerned that Stefan will harm Lulu in any way?"
Laura shakes her head vehemently. "No, I know he wouldn't. He adores her. He's been a loving parent to Nikolas, I have no reason to think he'd be anything but nurturing to her."
"So, you're convinced his affection for her is genuine and that he has her best interests at heart?" Gloria makes a notation when Laura nods. "Would he interfere in your parenting of her?"
Laura looks directly at Gloria. "He called you. So in that way, yes."
Gloria makes another note. "Is he likely to abandon her or suddenly lose interest in her?"
Laura thinks for a moment and shakes her head. "No, I've seen his devotion to her. Once he cares for someone, he's unwavering in his commitment."
Gloria makes a few more notations and puts her pad aside. "Is there any reason to think his contact with her could be harmful?"
Laura sighs wearily. "Only that my son, Lucky, hates Stefan with a vengeance. At one point, it turned violent. I don't want to go into great detail, but there's been bad blood between the families for years."
Gloria frowns at Laura's answer. "Yes, Lucky said as much in his interview with me. The question I have for you is why, when your son so vehemently hates and distrusts this man, do you trust him as much as you obviously do?"
Kevin walks up the steps to the Lighthouse to find his sister sitting on his stoop. "Cassidy?!"
Cassidy stands to greet him. "Hi, do you have time to talk?" She asks, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jeans.
"Sure, come on in." Kevin notices the dark circles under her eyes and the uncharacteristically dejected air about her. "You look pretty upset." He wraps an arm around her shoulders comfortingly, leading her into the lighthouse.
"Just hold me for a second... please." Cassidy sags against him.
"Oh, honey..." Kevin's wraps his arms around her, stroking her hair lovingly. "I'll hold you for as long as you need me to."
Kevin's kindness acts as a catalyst for Cassidy's tears; they come quickly, causing her to gasp for air. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't want to cry on you like this."
"Hey.. that's what big brother's are best for." He hands her a handkerchief and leads her to the couch. "At least that's what I've heard. Is this about Jerry?"
"Only partly." Cassidy laughs brittlely. "My whole life's a mess. My love life, my job... and that's not all." Her voice gets quiet. "I found out I'm pregnant."
"Not the best timing, is it?" Kevin says dolefully.
Cassidy shakes her head. "No, but no time would have been good. Not with the history I have." Cassidy shakes her head, the tears starting to fall again. "No child deserves me as a mother."
"Cassidy!" Kevin gives her a shocked look. "Why in the world would you think that?"
She blows her nose fruitlessly. "Isn't it obvious? With the mother we had? The mother Stefan has? Even Alexis' mother wasn't much better. I won't subject any child to that horror! And if by some miracle of God I don't go wacko myself, my child stands a good chance of becoming mentally ill when it comes of age."
"No Cassidy, that's not true." Kevin grabs both her hands and squeezes them painfully, his eyes plead with her to believe him. "I know you would be a wonderful mother. You're a kind, loving, intelligent person. And to steal Stefan's phrase, you're one of the most tightly wrapped young women I know."
"I almost believe you," She whispers, tears brimming in her eyes. "I want to believe you. The idea of raising this child.." she rubs her stomach. "Jerry's child, is so alluring. I could almost fool myself. But there's a child's life at stake, I can't be selfish." She gets up from the couch and stares out the window at the water. "You know, when I was 16, I made an important decision. I decided that I would never have children. Never. Your book on monstrous mothers and their children just confirmed that. And now, here I am pregnant. I can't abort it, so the only choices left are to raise the child or give it to someone else to raise. You can't tell me you haven't been afraid to have kids yourself."
"Not so long ago, I felt just as you did." Kevin crosses the room to join her at the window. "A couple years ago, Lucy became pregnant. It wasn't long after my meltdown. My whole world changed in that moment. More than anything I wanted that child, but I was also terrified like you. But being with Lucy, being loved by her, made me believe I could be a good father."
"You lost the child?"
"Yes, Lucy miscarried." Kevin clears the lump from his throat with a cough. "A little boy. Some day I hope Lucy and I are graced with another child."
"You aren't scared that you could pass on some awful genetic flaw... or that you might become like our mother?" Cassidy's question holds a note of hope.
"A little bit." Kevin smiles sadly and puts a hand on her shoulder. "But I know Melanie's and Ryan's illnesses weren't just caused by genetics. Both Melanie and Ryan were abused, horribly abused. And as awful as that seems, it can give us hope."
"Hope?"
"Yes, hope that because we were spared the worst of the abuse, we won't pass it on to our children." He squeezes her shoulder meaningfully. "And you have the best chance of all."
A short while later in the GH therapy offices, Gloria starts to wrap up her session with Laura. "It's clear to me that these are very complicated issues. At the beginning of our conversation, you asked me how to deal with the problem of Lulu's attachment to Stefan Cassadine. I'd like to address that in light of the discussion we just had and my interview with Lulu."
Laura leans forward eagerly. "Please, any advice you could give me would very much appreciated."
"I'm going to be blunt," Gloria begins. "Because Lulu's situation is precarious. Any delay has the potential to further damage her emotionally."
Laura pales. "Go on."
"Lulu doesn't have the ego strength to weather another loss now. If you persist in separating Lulu from Stefan, you run the risk of permanently scarring her emotionally and compromising her ability to form strong connections to others in the future. Let me show you something." Gloria pulls out a piece of construction paper that has a child's drawing on it. "As I do with all the children I see, I asked her to draw a picture of her family. This is what she drew."
Laura takes the paper from Gloria and studies it carefully. Clearly drawn are Lucky, Nikolas, herself, Lulu, Stefan, Foster, and Timmy. In the sky are pictures of a blonde haired man and a round woman. Laura points to the two figures in the sky. "These two are her father Luke and her aunt Ruby?" She asks.
"Yes, she said they are in heaven watching over her," Gloria explains. "In my line of work, that representation is about the healthiest you can expect from a child her age. As you can clearly see, she has incorporated Stefan into her family. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
"Yes," Laura answers in a tortured whisper. "But how am I going to help Lucky accept Stefan in Lulu's life?"
"Your son's hatred of Stefan does need to be addressed, and it isn't going to be easy," Gloria says in agreement. "He's a strong young man with strong convictions, but he also adores his little sister. With our help, I think he can learn to accept it."
