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CHAPTERS 49 AND 50

Chapter 49: Parenthood

Nikolas hails Stefan at the nursing station. "Uncle! May I speak with
you?

Stefan smiles warmly at Nikolas. "Come, let's go to my office." He puts
his hand on Nikolas' shoulder as he directs him down the hall. "I missed
you at breakfast this morning."

"Yes I know, I must have just missed you. I have some news..." Nikolas
closes the door behind them once they're in the office. "I want you to
be the first to know." He looks at Stefan anxiously, looking very
unsure of himself.

Stefan takes off his spectacles and stuffs them in the breast pocket of
his suit. He leans on the edge of the desk, crossing his arms as he
studies Nikolas, who is now fidgeting. "I'm listening. I hope this is
good news."

"It is. At least I hope you think so..." Nikolas takes a deep breath
before taking the plunge. "I asked Gina to marry me.. and she accepted."

Stefan's eyes light up joyfully and he smiles broadly. "Really? This is
wonderful news! I thought it might happen quickly, but not this soon."
He rises off the desk and holds Nikolas' cheeks in his hands. "You have
grown so much the last few years. Where did that proud boy that I raised
go? And when did this mature, strong young man replace him?" Stefan's
eyes fill with happy tears as he hugs Nikolas tightly.

Nikolas' eyes water. "I wouldn't be who I am today without you. Thank
you for being happy for me." He hugs Stefan back tightly.

"How could I be anything but? I know you waited until you were sure both
of you were ready for the commitment. And you love carefully... not
frivolously." Stefan releases Nikolas, patting on the cheek before
leaning back against the desk. "So have you set a date?"

Now that the task of telling Stefan is over, Nikolas relaxes and begins
to beam, his eyes glittering happily. "Not an exact date, but we both
want to wed as soon as possible. She is so beautiful and I love her so
much. I don't want to wait a second longer than necessary."

Stefan smile broadens at the sight of Nikolas so clearly in love. And
with an open and honest kind of love that he was never able to have
himself. His greatest wish for Nikolas had come true. "I cannot tell you
how it gladdens me to see you like this. You tell me what needs to be
done to prepare for the wedding, and I will see that it happens. A
simple wedding on Spoon Island can be arranged within a matter of days.
I'm sure Alexis and your mother will want to help with the preparations
as well. When do you plan to tell your mother?"

"I'm visiting Mother next, I want to tell her while my sister is still
in preschool. Do you mind if I leave now...?"

Stefan smiles indulgently as he dismisses Nikolas. "Go... I have
business to attend to... preparing for a wedding and making renovations
to Wyndemere will require all my attention until you marry Gina. I think
it is time Wyndemere became more hospitable so her new mistress will
feel welcome."

"Thank you. You don't know what it means to me..." Nikolas replies
gratefully.

Stefan picks up the phone receiver, cutting Nikolas off with a wave. "I
believe you said you had somewhere to go?"

Nikolas shakes his head in amusement as he opens the door to leave.
"Okay, I'm going. Gina and I will decide on a date this evening, and
I'll let you know when I get home tonight."

Laura smiles as she lets Nikolas in. "This is a surprise, I thought you
weren't coming by until later. Lulu is at preschool this morning."

"I know. I wanted to speak to you alone. I have some news I wanted to
share with you without Lulu interrupting." Nikolas pauses while they
settle themselves on the couch. "I asked Gina to marry me, and she
accepted." Laura looks at him, stunned speechless while Nikolas gushes.
"I love her so much, I know she's the one I want to spend my life with."
Nikolas' face falls when notices her stunned face. "Did I say something
wrong?"

Laura smiles at him hesitantly, as she searches for the right words.
"It's wonderful that you love her so much, Nikolas. You just surprised
me is all. It seems so sudden."

Nikolas looks away, hiding his hurt from her. "I told you a while ago
that I was in love with her."

"Yes, but marriage is a big leap." A knot forms in Laura's stomach as
she sees Nikolas retreat into himself. She takes his hand and squeezes
it. "She's a wonderful girl, Nikolas. I couldn't ask for a better wife
for you. She'll be lucky to have you as her husband. And I'm sure you
and Gina can work out all the kinks and she can learn about the
Cassadine family before the actual wedding."

"We plan to marry right away," Nikolas replies in a distant voice as he
removes his hand from her grasp and rises from the couch. He walks
across the room and looks at the Spencer family pictures. He picks up a
recent one of him with Lulu hugging him tightly. "You framed this?
When?"

"Last week. It's a perfect picture of you two." Laura rises and joins
him at the mantle. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Nikolas. I'm thrilled
for you and Gina, I really am. All I want for you is to be happy.
That's all I've ever wanted."

Nikolas's face softens. "I know. Would you help with the wedding
preparations? Gina and I haven't set an exact date. But it will be
soon."

Laura beams, wrapping her arms around his neck to hug him tightly. "I'd
love to help! You just tell me what you'd like me to do. Thank you for
letting me a part of this."

Nikolas returns her hug, moved by her words. ""I was hoping to have Lulu
stay over at Wyndemere this Saturday night since Gina has to work
anyway. I could tell her about Gina then."

"I'm sorry, Nikolas." Laura looks at him sadly. "The timing of this is
so bad.... I wish I could put off telling you this..."

"Telling me what?" He asks.

Laura swallows the lump in her throat. "Lulu can't visit you at
Wyndemere... at least not for a while."

"What?! Why not?" Nikolas stares at her with a mixture of confusion and
anger.

"Lulu's been having nightmares.. in fact Stefan mentioned she had one
the night of her visit. She needs to be at home right now," Laura
says. "... Besides Wyndemere isn't set up for small children.."

Nikolas looks at her suspiciously. "Those are excuses. What is the real
reason?"

Laura puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Those are my real
reasons. You can see her as often as you like..."

Nikolas pulls way from her, scowling at her angrily. "I think the real
reason is you don't trust me with my sister. Do you really think I'd let
anything bad happen to her? Haven't I proven to you that I'd protect her
with my life?"

Laura fights to hold back tears. "I trust you completely. It's just
Wyndemere...."

He cuts her off again. "I don't believe you. Once again it is about me
being a Cassadine. I'll always be a threat no matter what I do... You
wouldn't restrict what Lucky does with Lulu.. would you?" Nikolas
doesn't wait for Laura answer. "I was just starting to think you
accepted me, I mean really accepted me.. on equal footing with Lucky."
Nikolas shakes his head bitterly. "I should have known that would never
happen. Not even with Luke's death."

Tears stream down Laura's face as she pleads with him to understand.
"No! Nikolas, please! You have to understand.... I love you so much. I
always have and I always will. I didn't say Lulu couldn't ever visit you
at Wyndemere. Just not when she's so young and still so fragile after
Luke's death. This is coming out all wrong.... you've been so helpful
with Lulu since Luke's death. You have to know how much I appreciate
what you've done for both of us. I wouldn't have been able to get
through the last couple months without you."

Nikolas turns her words back on her, letting loose all the hurt
feelings. "You don't have to pretend and lie to me out of fear that I
won't help with LesleyLu. She is my sister. As I've said before, caring
for her is a responsibility I welcome. But let's be completely frank,
shall we? We both need to face the fact that I'll always be the
Cassadine son. The son you let believe you were dead while you went into
hiding with your 'real' family."

Laura looks away. "Okay, I deserved that. I'll never be able to make up
for the harm I've done to you. But that's not what this is about.."

Nikolas paces, his voice cold and bitter. "I suppose I should be
grateful that you let me see Lulu at all, alone no less. The truth is
that all the decisions you make are made with the belief that the
Cassadines are evil at worst, untrustworthy at best. That's why you
wanted me to hold off marrying Gina, isn't it? You think if Gina knew
about the evil Cassadines, she wouldn't want to marry me. Or maybe you
think I'm just like the other Cassadines."

Laura slumps on the couch in defeat, crying. "That's not true! I...I
just thought she might need time adjusting to becoming part of a rich
and powerful family. Marrying you is marrying royalty, Nikolas. There
are duties and responsibilities she has to know." Laura shakes her head
miserably.

Laura's words have little impact. Nikolas stops his pacing momentarily
as a thought occurs to him. "Lucky had something to do with this, didn't
he? He was the one that convinced you that Lulu wasn't safe at
Wyndemere."

Laura dodges the question."No, Lucky doesn't make decisions for me. I
run this household, not him."

Like a Pitbull, he continues. "He did say something, didn't he?" Laura's
refusal to answer tells him all he needs to know. "I knew it. Why
didn't I realize before? Now that Luke is dead, Lucky has taken his
place. And you just follow his lead."

"No!" Laura replies. "Lucky's reaction to Lulu going to Wyndemere has
nothing to do with my decision. I swear to you. Lucky considers you a
friend, a brother."

"But you can't deny that he freaked, can you?" Nikolas shakes his head.
"The Spencer morality- you are always right and good, and the Cassadines
are always wrong and evil. At least you're consistent. And don't you
dare say you're sorry. If I hear that come out of your mouth again, I
will scream."

Laura holds her head, rocking slightly. "I've made a mess of things...."

"I'm a fool. You've shown me your true feelings over and over again. I
just refused to accept it. I can't stand to look at you. I'm out of
here." Nikolas walks to the door, opening it, then turning to address
Laura again. "I won't be able to see Lulu today. I'm sure you'll make
up some excuse. You're good at that."

Laura watches helplessly from the couch as Nikolas leaves, flinching
when the door slams loudly behind him.

"Mom, please.. you don't understand. He's not like that at all... he's
the warmest, kindest, most honest man I know." Gina bites her lip
anxiously as she listens to the angry tirade. "He wouldn't hurt anyone,
Mom. I love him. I wouldn't fall in love with someone who could do those
things......do we have to start in on my friends again? Sonny and Jason
have been good to me. Sonny gave me a job when I needed it. No, I'm not
working for the mob, you know I'm working in a blues club" Gina becomes
outraged at her mother1s words. "Don't say that about Stone! He was a
wonderful loving person. And it isn't fair, he's not here to defend
himself...."

Gina jumps when she hears an angry man's voice on the other end. "Dad!
... no I'm not doing this to break Mom's heart. I'm marrying him because
I love him.... Why don't you at least meet him before you pass
judgment? I'm sure if you met him, you'd love him too..." Gina flinches
when the man's voice becomes louder and more belligerent. "No, I didn't
mean that as disrespect.... please, just meet him, for me." Gina's
voice trembles. "Please don't make me choose between Nikolas and you....
no, please! That's not what I meant.... I..." Gina isn't able to
finish her sentence before the man hangs up the phone. She stands there
for several minutes staring at the phone, stunned. Only after hearing
the persistent beeping does she finally hang up the receiver.

Chapter 50: Decisions, Decisions

Nikolas and Gina hug each other like there's no tomorrow, oblivious of everything around them. Their odd behavior causes quite a stir; the normally jaded patrons at Luke's stare at them with interest, murmuring to each other. Lucky walks in from the back and looks at the couple and the gathering patrons quizzically, addressing his question to Mike. "What's going on? They look like the roof has caved in on them."

Mike shrugs. "Don't know. They've been hugging like this for a about five minutes now. In another five, I'm getting the crow bar out to pry them apart."

Lucky smirks. "As long as it doesn't scare away the customers, I don't care."

Nikolas breaks the embrace first, stroking Gina's cheek as he asks her, "What happened , baby?"

Gina wipes the stray tears. "Just missing you.. Well that's not the only thing. I talked to my parents and it didn't go very well." Gina starts to cry again. "They don't want to have anything to do with me anymore..."

Nikolas pulls her against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Gina... God, I'm so sorry."

Gina lays her head against his chest, enjoying the sense of belonging she feels. "Well, I'm not. They've been holding this over my head since they adopted me. For years they wouldn't let me see Stone. They had a fit when I went to school and started working at the club. I say good riddance. You're my family now."

Nikolas hugs her tighter. "I promise from this moment on, you won't ever regret it."

Gina smiles as she feels his love. "This is where I belong. With you." Gina gives him quick hug before pulling away. "You were pretty upset too. What happened? Your uncle isn't against us getting married, is he?"

Nikolas guides her to one of the tables. Their audience disperses, mildly disappointed that the show is over. "No, I think he's almost as happy as we are. He's all excited about making renovations to Wyndemere so that you'll feel more at home. We should probably look over his plans to make sure they are what we want."

"As long as it includes a warm bed to spend every night with you in, it'll be perfect," Gina replies. They sit; she holds Nikolas' hand across the table. "You haven't told me what's bothering you."

"Nothing important." Nikolas frowns at Lucky who is standing by the bar. "I do need to talk to Lucky later. But right now, I want to enjoy being with my beautiful fiancÉ." They kiss across the table.

Stefan stands outside the GH daycare looking through the large window at Lulu who is busily drawing. Just as he is about to enter, the cell phone in his breast pocket rings. Pulling it out, he answers it. "Cassadine."

"Stefan? It's me." There's a slight tremor in Laura's voice and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "I've been trying to track you down. Mrs Lansbury took pity on me and gave me your cell phone number."

Stefan is alarmed "Lasha... what is it? I can tell from your voice something is terribly wrong."

She wipes away stray tears. "Have you seen Nikolas in the last hour? We had an awful fight, I've made such a mess of things with him. I just want to be sure that he's okay..."

Stefan walks down an abandoned hallway so that he has some privacy. "No, he hasn't been at the hospital since this morning. Did you fight about his engagement?"

Laura struggles not to cry again. "That, and I told him Lulu couldn't visit Wyndemere. He thinks I don't love him. I've hurt him all over again. This time I think I've driven him away forever..." Laura loses the battle and now cries openly. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose him again..... just when I was finally reversing some of the damage I've done.."

Stefan strides quickly down the hall to the elevators. "I will be right over. It should only be a few minutes, I'm leaving General Hospital as we speak. Will you be alright until I arrive?"

Laura takes a steadying breath and wipes away the tears. "Yes, I'll be fine. I'm more concerned for Nikolas. He was so angry and hurt when he left. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"If I were to guess, I would say with Gina. He is a resilient young man, Lasha. He would come to me if he were in real trouble. But just to be certain, I will call him from the limo," Stefan says as he pushes the button to the elevator repeatedly. "Whatever happened between the two of you, we'll find a way to correct it."

Laura nods. "Thank you, Stefan. I needed to hear that."

Lucky joins Nikolas and Gina at their table. turning a chair around backwards to straddle it. "Hey guys, how's tricks?"

Nikolas scowls at him. "As you can see, we were hoping to be alone. Do you mind?" Lucky pulls back like he's been slapped, stunned by the sudden hostility.

Gina puts a comforting hand on Nikolas' arm. "He's just being friendly, Nikolas. "

"Yeah man, what's up?" Lucky asks. "You haven't been this cold for a couple of years."

Nikolas leans back in his chair and takes a deep breath. "Gina, do you mind if I speak with Lucky? My little brother and I need to have a little chat." Nikolas glowers at Lucky.

"Sure." Gina squeezes Nikolas' hand worriedly sensing the intense hostility. "Just go easy on him, okay?"

A puffy-eyed Laura welcomes Stefan into her home. "Thanks for coming so quickly. Did you talk to Nikolas? Is he okay?"

"Yes, but we did not talk long. He was with Gina. He seemed in fine spirits." He sits next to her on the couch. "I will speak with him tonight."

"I guess this fight has been coming for awhile. We've been getting along so well...too well. It was bound to happen eventually. What worries me most is he's out there thinking I've scorned him again. That I don't trust him." Laura wipes away more tears.

Stefan takes her hand. "His feelings for you are very complicated and he hasn't really dealt with them. He doesn't know how to make sense of the rejections. I've tried to help him, but he keeps those feelings very private."

"How can you stand to be in the same room with me when you know how much I've hurt him? Sometimes I hate myself so much, I can't even look myself in the mirror."

Stefan gives her a small smile. "I'm not going to pretend it's easy for me to accept how you've hurt Nikolas. But I also know that I'm not blameless. I have to take responsibility for keeping him from you when he was younger. For years I allowed him to believe lies about you. Then when we did come to town, I terrified you and your family. That mistake hurt Nikolas greatly, but I have to take responsibility for my part in it. It has been a difficult road, but somehow I have been able to accept what's happened. "

Laura looks stunned, moved by his uncharacteristic confession. "I never expected to hear you say those things.. thank you."

Stefan shrugs modestly. "I have had a lot of time to reflect. And it was essential that I come to peace with it for my own sanity as well as the fact that you are an important part of Nikolas' life."

"After today, I'm not sure he wants me in his life anymore." Laura begins to cry again. "I've hurt him so much over the years. And no matter how hard I try, I keep hurting him. I think I've driven him away forever. Maybe that's for the best...."

Stefan holds her while she cries. "No.. he needs you, Lasha. More than you or he even realize. Go ahead... let it out. I'm here." He murmurs soft comforting words into her hair while he rocks her gently, like a baby. Laura, finally feeling safe, burrows into his chest and lets loose all the grief and depression she's felt since Luke's death.

Lucky sits behind the desk, propping his feet up on it. "So what's the beef, Nikky?"

Nikolas angrily swats Lucky's feet off the desk. "This is not the time to play with me, Lucky. I've had it up to here with you and your sanctimonious Spencer attitude."

Lucky starts to get annoyed. "What's got your knickers in a knot?"

Nikolas paces in front of him. "You. You and our pitiful excuse for a mother. Don't play innocent, you know exactly what this is about. You should be happy, you got what you wanted. Lulu and Mother right under your thumb, just like your daddy."

"What the hell are you talking about, man? And don't go insulting Mom! You got a problem with me, come to me. But leave her out of it."

Nikolas shakes his head at the irony. "Funny, that's almost exactly what she said. She wanted me to leave you out of it. But your mark is all over this. I thought we'd become friends.. heck that we even trusted each other. But that trust seems to go only one way."

Lucky finally loses his patience. "Tell me, damn it!"

"Fine," Nikolas replies as he rolls his eyes. "I'll spell it out for you. I was informed today that Lulu won't be able to stay with me at Wyndemere anymore. Now are you still going to pretend you didn't have anything to do with this?"

Lucky looks surprised. "Mom said that? She told me the other day..."

"Stop playing innocent! When you heard Lulu was staying at Wyndemere, you blew your top. Admit it!"

"Yeah, I was ticked," Lucky agrees. "With your uncle ready to pounce on Mom and my sister, can you blame me for wanting to protect Lulu?"

"Of course... it's my evil uncle. He's the devil incarnate. Out the suck the blood out of Lulu, maybe? That'd be his style, wouldn't it? And of course, I'd just sit back and let him do it." Nikolas looks at the ceiling in mock patience. "How many times have my uncle and I saved LesleyLu's life?"

Lucky looks down. "Twice, but...."

Nikolas cuts him off. "And how many times do we have to save her life before the righteous Spencer clan accepts that my uncle and I would never do ANYTHING to harm her?"

Lucky tries to defend himself. "I didn't say he'd hurt her, but he's not above using her to get to Mom. And I saw the way he was with Lulu at the hospital and the morning after my dad's death. His interest was personal."

Nikolas throws his hands up in the air. "So? Lulu needs all the protection she can get. What is so horrible if my uncle, the most powerful man in Port Charles, takes a personal interest in our sister's welfare? That could only be to her benefit."

Lucky looks deflated. "I bet you'd just love it if Mom and Stefan got together, wouldn't you? Nevermind that he's spent years trying to destroy her and my dad!"

"That's getting really old, not to mention inaccurate. You haven't heard? He's been dating a doctor for the last month. I'm really tired of your paranoid theories," Nikolas says as he walks to the door. "I can't believe I encouraged Uncle to be understanding where you're concerned. He could have pressed charges when you tried to kill him. But he didn't out of respect for me and our mother. But that's not enough for you, is it? You'll keep your dad's stupid feud alive even if it destroys us all. Tell me, is keeping this feud alive worth destroying our relationship? Because if you keep it up, that's what will happen. Think hard and choose carefully." With those final words, Nikolas leaves Lucky to contemplate his choices.

Once Laura has calmed down, Stefan reluctantly ends the embrace, using his handkerchief to dry her tears. "Feeling a little better?"

Laura nods, accepting his handkerchief to blow her nose. "I don't think it solved anything, but I feel a little better."

"I have a proposition for you that might help the situation with Nikolas."

In an effort to compose herself further, Laura straightens her clothes and combs her hair back with her fingers "I'm willing to try anything at this point. I just can't bare the thought of failing Nikolas again. "

"Did Nikolas tell you I'm planning some renovations to Wyndemere?" Laura shakes her head. "He's been complaining for years that Wyndemere is like a tomb. Barbara did some redecorating when we were married and that helped quite a bit, but it's still rather dour. And as you've pointed out, it's not suitable for small children."

"What are you planning to change?" Laura asks.

"For one, I plan to add and enlarge windows to allow more light. I will be converting one wing of the house for Nikolas and Gina so they can have more privacy. An entire apartment if they wish. But I also want create a room suitable for children.. what's the American term... 'rec room'?"

Laura nods. "That's the word. But what does this have to do with my dilemma with Nikolas?"

"I really have no experience on what is appropriate for a small child. When Nikolas was little, he had a nanny to make sure he didn't break anything valuable." Stefan takes her hand and holds it between his. "Would you be willing to help me design such a room?"

Laura's eyes widen with surprise. "You want me to help you design a rec room? But I don't know much about remodeling... I think you would do better to hire someone who specializes in interior design."

Stefan shakes head. "But only you know what LesleyLu likes and would feel comfortable in. A stranger couldn't do that. This room will be for Nikolas, Gina, and his sister.I want the room designed so Lulu can visit him without you being concerned about her breaking valuables."

Laura gets up from the couch and walks around the room to gain some distance from Stefan and consider his offer. She can feel herself getting swept up in his excitement. It would be so easy to lose herself and let him fix things for her. She hadn't wanted him to end the embrace earlier, it was the first time she had felt safe since Luke's death. Laura feels an overwhelming sense of guilt. She got this everytime she thought of starting a new project or had fun with friends. Like she was
leaving Luke behind.

Stefan startles her out of her reverie by touching her shoulder. "Thinking about Luke?"

She blinks back tears. "How did you know?"

Stefan grimaces. "You looked forlorn."

Laura forces herself to brighten and changes the subject. "I need to get Lulu from daycare." She goes to the closet to get her things as Stefan trails behind her, helping her put on with her sweater. She smiles gratefully and reaches up to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you for being so kind today. I'll give your offer some serious thought."

Stefan nods formally. "Then I'll wait patiently for your call. If you need to talk to me again... about Nikolas, LesleyLu, anything, do not hesitate to call... you know how to reach me now?"

"Yes." Laura holds open the front door, waiting for Stefan to exit before closing it behind them. "I don't think I'll have any problem finding you."