Note: This was written when Laura returned from the dead circa 1997   Nikolas and Lasha Nikolas clicks the timer on his watch to stop and slows to a brisk walk. His hands on his hips as his body begins to cool down, he paces around a clearing in the park. As his heart rate returns to normal, he stops and begins to stretch, propping his leg up on a bench. He was surprised at how familiar and comfortable the cold northeastern air felt in his lungs, only noticing after being in the Greek humidity for the past week. Or maybe just breathing air on a planet that was no longer shared by his grandmother was what was so refreshing. Nikolas couldn't decide. But he realized that Port Charles really had become home to him, as he remembers wishing to see snow last week, instead of helping to carry his grandmother's casket to its eternal destination in the Mediterranean heat. But at last he was back. And things were looking up. Since Helena's death, Uncle had been decidedly chipper. Stefan had been up with the sun, in the indoor garden, picking flowers to take to Katherine's physical therapy session this morning. Nikolas had no idea what was his uncle's fascination with Katherine, but he was happy that they had become friends. She seemed at peace when he joined her at therapy. And she was getting better, working out on the parallel bars, well on her way to walking again. Thinking about it, Nikolas feels his stomach tighten as he remembers how Luke Spencer has gotten off scot-free for shooting Katherine, just because the Commissioner didn't have the balls to go after his brother's best friend. Just as well, Nikolas supposes; Port Charles without Luke Spencer is like Greece without Grandmother. He wasn't complaining. Well, except that he missed his little sister... Leaning over, grimacing as his hamstring resists, Nikolas suddenly hears the padding of little feet crunching on the snow. Turning his head, he thinks he must be dreaming when Lesley Lu's sparkling smile greets him. Nikolas freezes. She is waddling toward him. When he regains his composure enough to speak, he says her name quietly. Nikolas: Lesley Lu? She laughs and grabs onto the bench to keep from falling over in her attempt to run. Nikolas grins and swoops her up in his arms and hugs her tightly. It isn't long, though, before he realizes that her appearance must mean that Luke Spencer was nearby. He holds his sister close to his chest, squishing her pink snowsuit, and looks around for Luke or Lucky to appear. Nikolas: Spencer! Where are you? (He spins around, his eyes searching the brush) Surely you don't trust me to hold the baby this long unsupervised, do you? Come on out! "I trust you." Nikolas hears the woman's voice behind him, and whirls around to face his mother. If his whole body didn't tense up, motionless at the sight of her, he might have dropped the baby. Laura gazes on her son nervously, her face full of apprehension at his response to her. Lulu coos "Mama" and begins to squirm in her brother's arms. Nikolas, his eyes locked on Laura, doesn't register her resistance for a moment, but then looks at her and places her on the ground. On autopilot, he mechanically tightens her hood and says "Make me a snow angel, ok?" As Lulu skips away, plopping down in the fresh snow a few yards away, Nikolas remains squatting on the ground, not looking at anything. In his state of shock, it takes him twice as long to think enough to stand up. When he finally does, his legs feel like jelly for the first time since he stopped running, and he quickly sits down on the bench. He is unable to make eye contact with Laura, but stares straight ahead, trying to process what is happening. Laura has been quietly watching him, giving him space to respond to her. When she realizes that he is unable to speak, she walks slowly toward him, and sits on the bench beside Nikolas. Laura: You are back from the funeral in Greece. Now that she is dead, I can come out of hiding. Nikolas, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be thinking now. (He remains speechless, just staring at her, making her antsy) I'd like a chance to explain why I had to make everyone think I was dead. (She desperately wants to make contact with him) Will you let me explain? Nikolas still can't respond. He can't understand it, but he feels that if he speaks, the illusion will be realized and the vision of his mother will fade away as quickly as it came. He turns his head toward Lulu, watching her get covered in snow, looking like a teddy bear all bundled up, struggling to stand up after furiously making a snow-angel. When he turns back, he fully expects the image of his mother to be gone. Sensing his feelings, Laura reaches out and takes his hand, hoping that he will understand that she is real. Laura: Nikolas. I'm really here. Tears of confusion, anger and relief spill down his cheeks. Laura reaches for his other hand, but he pulls away, jumping up, recoiling from her like a leper. A monumental battle begins inside his head, as everything in him yearns to run, to get away, to flee this unknown, this impossibility, this momentous confrontation. And yet, what if she takes his sister and disappears again into the park, and he never sees her again? The scorned Cassadine man wants to run, to refuse to speak to her, to punish her. But the thrice- abandoned little boy can't make himself let go of her so easily. The little boy in him wants to cling to her and not let her leave him this time. His breathing is heavy, not really having recovered from his run, and certainly not slowing from the moment's happenings. Laura senses his struggle and realizes that she doesn't have much time before he withdraws irreversibly from her. Laura: Nikolas, please. I need you to understand. I was terrified for my mother and my family. Helena had disappeared from Greece, and we had reason to believe that she knew that Stefan had told me about my mother. We were afraid that she was coming here to kill Mother, me, and God knows who else. Don't you see? The only thing we could do was dissipate her targets by making her think we were dead. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't, Nikolas. I had only recently discovered that my own mother was alive, and I wanted to be with her and make sure she was safe. Can you understand that? I didn't know anything about Helena disappearing or Mother and I being in danger until after the explosion. Luke knew the danger and set up the explosion. He grabbed me inside the building before the bomb went off. By the time he explained, everyone thought I was dead, and I was able to see that Luke was right about Helena coming after us. I didn't plan the whole thing, Nikolas. If I had, I would have found a way... somehow, to protect you, but when it was done, it couldn't be undone. And I was terrified that Helena would kill my mother, or come after my children. (she sees his face harden) I mean, my other children... She has tried before, Nikolas. She has tried to kill my mother, me, my husband. My fears were real, Nikolas. I wasn't just trying to be cruel. I didn't want to leave you... (her voice cracks as she realizes that he's not buying it. She begins to cry) Nikolas' face has slowly transformed from the scared little boy into the double-crossed Cassadine as she has told her woeful tale, and his anger imperceptibly forms a bubble around him, his jaw set and his eyes as cold as ice. Laura sees that her moment is gone, and begins sobbing in earnest, as she is face-to-face with what she had been denying would happen the whole time they had been on the run. She hadn't wanted to believe that things would be irreconcilable once Nikolas found out the truth. She had deceived herself into believing Luke's platitudes that "the kid will get over it." But now she saw herself as the monster that had changed her precious little boy into The Cassadine. Here he was, transforming before her eyes. He had been different. He had had a chance to avoid his father's evil. Stefan had protected him, nurtured him. But now she realized that all the effort that had been invested in keeping him pure fell far short of the damage that she had done to him in less than a year in Port Charles. And all her self-esteem and identity derived from being a good mother at all costs melted at the site of his set jaw and fiery eyes. Laura didn't even try to call after him when, after picking Lulu up, kissing her on her plump cheeks and placing her on her feet, Nikolas shot his mother a Cassadine glare filled with daggers, and took off sprinting out of the park. Nikolas runs up the stairs at the hospital toward the locker room. He has 20 minutes to shower and change before he's expected in pediatrics. Not certain if he'll be able to get through the day, he explodes out of the stairwell and is about to head into the locker room when he hears Katherine calling his name. He turns around and sees her with a walker, struggling down the hallway. Stefan is beaming as he watches her efforts. Katherine: Nikolas! Look, the cripple goes vertical. Aren't you impressed? Stefan frowns when he notices the deer-in-headlights look which seems to be pasted on his nephew's face. Nikolas can't seem to respond to Katherine. Nikolas: Um... that's great. Keep it up. I gotta go. Katherine's face falls as Nikolas disappears around the corner. Stefan excuses himself and follows his nephew. The physical therapist takes over encouraging Katherine. Nikolas hears the door open behind him, and winces at the thought of dealing with his uncle right now. Stefan: What's wrong? Nikolas: (wrapping a towel around himself, he prepares to go to the showers) Nothing. Stefan keeps walking toward him, and Nikolas finds himself cornered. He looks around like a fugitive, anxious to get out of the conversation, looking for an escape route. Stefan: You're dripping wet. Did you run here and not cool off and stretch? Nikolas, that's not good for your muscles. You'll be sore tomorrow. I know it's time-consuming, but an ounce of discipline will spare- Nikolas: (he slams his fist into the wall) STOP! I can't take this right now. Nikolas pushes past his dumbstruck uncle and heads into the shower. Stefan hears the water turn on, as he stands there, not knowing what just happened. Sighing wearily, he sits down on the bench, deciding to wait for Nikolas to finish. Whatever was bothering the boy needed to be worked out immediately. Stefan leans forward, resting his face on his hands, propping his elbows up on his knees. As Nikolas gets older, it has become more and more difficult to control him. He acts so unwisely sometimes. And that temper of his was dangerous. Like his father's. Lasha, he says to himself, I can't protect him from his blood anymore. He doesn't listen. He needs his mother to have been around. I thought I could make up for your absence, but I was wrong. I fear the man he may become. Could you ever forgive me for failing to keep my promise to you? Just then, Stefan notices the steam from the shower fogging up all the mirrors. His suit has begun to stick to him and, looking at his watch, he realizes that Nikolas has been in there for 30 minutes. Stefan frowns, worried. Going to the end of the row of shower stalls, he calls out his nephew's name. When he gets no answer, he pulls open the curtain on the only stall that's occupied, and gasps when he sees Nikolas, huddled up on the floor, hugging his knees, the water streaming over his body, unnoticed, indistinguishable from his tears. Nikolas' eyes are open, but far away, and he makes no sign that he cares that Stefan is standing over him. All the air has left Stefan's lungs as his eyes widen in horror. He didn't have the slightest idea what was wrong with his nephew, but he knew that he'd never seen him like this. Stefan: Nikolas! No response, Nikolas just maintains his distant stare as the water swirls around about his body. Stefan reaches over him and turns the water off. Taking off his jacket, he throws it over Nikolas, who is shivering and rocking slightly, still hugging his knees. Stefan stands up and grabs some more towels from the stack outside the shower stalls, returns and begins drying Nikolas' face and arms. Stefan: What in God's name is the matter with you? Tell me, Nikolas! Get up. GET UP! He shouts at Nikolas in a desperate attempt to make contact, shaking his shoulders. When Stefan at last resigns to just waiting, he leans back against the wall, squatting at eye- level with his nephew. Terror grips him like never before... well, except maybe the explosion... The two are quiet for a while, the silence and unanswered questions almost deafening, now that the water was turned off. And then Nikolas' eyes focus on Stefan. Stefan leans forward, hoping that Nikolas is himself again. His nephew says quietly, almost inaudibly, Nikolas: Was I a bad baby? Stefan: What? Nikolas: Did I cry a lot? Did I get sick too much? Stefan is speechless. He struggles to answer these questions that seem to come out of nowhere. Stefan: No. Of course not. Nikolas, why don't we- Nikolas: (cutting him off) Why does she hate me? Why does she keep trying to destroy me? Is it because she hated my father? What did he do to her? Stefan finally realizes that this episode is about Laura. Stefan: Of course she didn't hate you. She loved you. You were the one thing that mattered to her. She never stopped loving you. You know that. Nikolas: Everything she does is to hurt me. Stefan: (completely baffled) Nikolas, listen to me. Your mother is dead. She can't hurt you. What are you talking about? Nikolas is shaking his head, looking off past Stefan, beginning to whisper something. Stefan: What? Nikolas, what are you saying? Nikolas: (quietly) She's alive. Stefan: I wish she were. (he places his hand on Nikolas' cheek) I wish she were, too, brephos. Is that what this is about? Nikolas: NO! (he slams Stefan's hand away. Coming more to his senses, he struggles to stand up.) She IS alive. She came to the park this morning to gloat about it. It was all a setup to punish us. He grabs a towel, wraps it around his waist, and pushes past Stefan, who has no idea how to respond. Stefan follows Nikolas out toward the lockers. Stefan: Nikolas, I think that you need to come home with me right now. You are in no condition to work today. Nikolas: (hurriedly getting dressed) I'm fine. Stefan: (getting angry) You were catatonic not five minutes ago, mumbling about seeing a ghost, now don't you tell me you're fine! Nikolas: Actually, that's a good idea for you. Why don't you go home. Go to Wyndemere, and let me know exactly whom you find waiting for you. (he laughs gruffly) Nikolas picks up his duffel bag, throws it in the locker, slams the door shut and turns to go. Stefan steps in front of him. Stefan: I'll not allow you to leave here like this. Nikolas: Really? Nikolas pushes past Stefan and flies out the door. When he is gone, Stefan pulls out his cell phone. Stefan: (into the phone) My nephew is on his way to the pediatric floor. Please pick him up and remove him to the limousine. Forcefully if you must. Wait for me there. Stefan then dials a second number. Stefan: Dr. Collins, do you have some time today? My nephew is going through some difficulty over his mother's death..... Later this afternoon would be fine. Thank you. Stefan snaps the phone shut and heads to the car in the parking garage. Stefan pulls the door to the car shut behind him, and finds Nikolas glaring at him from the opposite seat. He was breathing heavily; obviously force had been necessary to get him in the car. Stefan: I'm sorry, Nikolas. You scared me. The vision, which will become a recurring nightmare for Stefan, returns to his mind as he looks at his nephew. He remembers pulling open the curtain and seeing the strong and proud young man reduced to a terrified and deflated child over the rejection from that woman. As much as Stefan wanted to blame Nikolas' response on his age and his tenderness, it was impossible. Nikolas had only succumbed to the same emotion that Stefan felt every day his whole life, knowing that Lasha was with another man, and especially on the day she died, and his hope along with her. Nikolas: There will come a day, Uncle, not so far in the future, when you will not control me. Stefan: This is what you call controlling you? You think I have control over you when I have to send goons to abduct you into doing my will? How many times have I told you that force is not power? (Nikolas is silent) No, Nikolas, I hardly think that I have any influence over you whatsoever. They ride together in silence, all the way to the ferry. Once they are on the boat, Nikolas looks out over the lake. Nikolas: (not looking at Stefan) You think I'm crazy. Don't you? Stefan sighs heavily. He has no answer. Stefan: Nikolas, I think that when a child loses his mother, it is perfectly normal to be emotionally distraught. Nikolas: (vaguely, more to himself) It's not the losing which distresses, Uncle. (Stefan looks at him, bewildered) Besides, I haven't seen you so happy-go-lucky lately since my father died. Obviously losing your mother had the opposite effect. Stefan: I was NOT "happy-go-lucky" when your father died. Nikolas: Yeah, right. Stefan: And as for my mother, well, you and I both know that her death was long overdue. Laura's, on the other hand was sudden and terrible, and I understand that you're upset. We all were. (Stefan remembers his rage at her death. Burning all that had been hers. Almost not even being able to look at Nikolas for the past month every time he smiled, because there she was, in his smile.) But, Nikolas, I called Dr. Collins. He'll be coming over this afternoon. I find him very easy to talk to. Nikolas: Wonderful. Have a lovely chat. Stefan: Nikolas, stop. I think you should spend some time with him. Nikolas: I have a funny feeling that we'll have a more important guest today. Stefan chooses not to respond to this odd statement of his nephew's, the last in a series of odd statements. God only knows what he is going through. As the guards greet them at the dock, Nikolas lags behind as Stefan climbs the stairs toward the house. Stefan: Are you coming? Nikolas: In a minute. I want to be by myself for a moment. Stefan disappears. Nikolas approaches the guard who is untying the boat to go back to the other side of the lake. Nikolas: Do you have a gun? Guard: Yes, sir. Nikolas: I need to borrow it. The guard hesitates. Nikolas: Now. (then more nicely) I'll bring it back. I promise. The guard hands his weapon over to Nikolas, who slips it in the back of his pants, underneath his jacket. Nikolas: Thank you. Don't speak of this please. The guard just looks at him, baffled, and a bit apprehensively, wondering if he did the right thing. Nikolas is half-way up the stairs, when he thinks to ask... Nikolas: Oh, incidentally, has anyone else come on the island today? Guard: Not since my shift started, sir. But I only came on duty thirty minutes ago. Meanwhile, Stefan enters the parlor and throws his drenched suit jacket on the sofa. He hears his name softly spoken behind him and spins around to see HER. He freezes, speechless. Laura: Have you spoken to Nikolas today? Stefan crumples into a straight-back chair, his eyes never leaving her. He does not register her question. Laura: Stefan? I... I guess I don't know what to say. "Surprise" doesn't feel quite right. His eyes narrow at her gauche attempt at levity. Laura: I had to do it, Stefan. Luke set it up and explained to me afterwards that Helena was missing and most likely coming after us. It was the only way to get my mother and my family safely out of her reach. We had to stop her, Stefan. Stefan: (finally finding his voice, almost a whisper) I take it, then, that my mother didn't die of natural causes. Laura doesn't answer, she just looks away. Tears come to Stefan's eyes. Stefan: Do you...(he chokes) Do you have any idea what you have done to Nik- Nikolas cuts him off from the doorway, he is holding a gun toward Laura. Nikolas: Yes, Uncle. She knows exactly what she has done. She just doesn't care. (Then, to Laura) Get out. Now. Stefan comes to his senses. Stefan: NIKOLAS! Stop this. Put that down immediately. Laura: Nikolas.... I couldn't think of any other way. Please believe me. Nikolas: I do believe you. You never can think of any other way. Your conflict resolution skills are always lacking in creativity. You always have one solution, don't you? Run. Run as far away from me as you can get. Deceive me as much as possible. Punish me for being born again and again. See how long it takes to make the Cassadine kid break, right? Well, congratulations. Mission accomplished. (He notes the terror in her eyes) What's the matter, Laura? Do I look just a little too familiar to you? Bringing back some fond memories? The nostalgia must bring a tear to your eye, I know. I could have been different, I suppose. If you'd invested the shortest minute. But now we'll never know. Because you don't get any more chances with me. (she begins backing away and he realizes that she thinks he's going to shoot her) (Stefan, meanwhile, is saying things to him, but his voice is in a far away tunnel.) No, no, Laura, I'm not going to kill you. For heaven's sake. But I am going to get naturalized. And you know what the first thing I'm going to do once I'm a citizen? Sue for custody of my little sister, who's being dragged all over the country, on the run, because you can't seem to want to face your past. (Laura is crying now) That's right. You can do whatever you want to me. But my little sister will not be tainted by you. (he pauses, then softly) Get out. And don't come back. And don't ever speak my name again, Mrs. Spencer, because you and I both know you only have one son. Laura grabs her coat, sobbing almost hysterically, and walks defeatedly out of the house. As soon as she's gone, Nikolas looks at the gun he's holding, almost with disgust, and places it on the coffee table. Stefan has grown silent, as he stares in horror at The Cassadine. Nikolas, after placing the gun on the coffee table, casually picks up the newspaper from its usual place near the doorway, sticks it under his arm and strolls up the stairs. Stefan, shell-shocked, knows that he should go after his nephew, but doesn't have the slightest idea what he would say, and instead runs out the door down to the docks. She is getting into the boat when he yells over the railing. Stefan: WAIT! Laura looks up at him, tears still in her eyes, and stops. He runs down the stairs toward her. He grabs her arm. Stefan: Don't even think about walking away from here. Laura: Am I to be your prisoner again? Stefan flinches, taken aback by her suggestion. Laura, seeing his vulnerable state, instantly regrets her question. Stefan: You never were my prisoner Lasha. My will never had any hold over you. I think that's painfully clear, don't you? And obviously your son has no hold either. Laura: (softening as she thinks about Nikolas) You promised me, Stefan. I left him with you because you wouldn't let him become.... (remembering the vision of his cold eyes and the end of the gun pointed at her) THAT. Stefan: The child that came to Port Charles with me less than a year ago would never have done what Nikolas just did. I'm afraid that you only have yourself to blame, Lasha, for his current state of mind. She begins crying anew. Stefan's emotions go every which way at the sight of her. How he wanted to take her in his arms and thank God that she was alive. How he wanted to throttle her for nearly destroying him. He thinks of his nephew, only a child, trying to deal with the same turmoil. No wonder Nikolas was dancing on the edge of sanity. Stefan had to fight his Mediterranean instincts to slap her to the other side of the lake. He watches her sobbing with disdain. Stefan: Spare me your tears, Lasha. Your bed is all made. Now take your guilty conscience and lie in it. You truly did die to me in that explosion. Rest in peace. He walks away from her toward the stairs. As Laura watches him go, she feels the anger overcoming her sorrow, and she runs after him, pulling his arm and spinning him around to face her. Laura: NO! Don't you dare judge me, Stefan Cassadine. Don't you dare stand over me with your self-righteous indignation and proclaim this as MY doing. I distinctly recall that it was YOUR brother who abducted me all those years ago, and YOUR mother who has hunted us to this day, destroying my mother and stealing my son. Why must I throw away my life and constantly hurt those I love because I'm always running from your mother? Why is that MY fault? (she pushes his chest with both hands) Tell me, you arrogant son of a bitch! I never asked to sleep with your bastard brother, and I never asked to have his child, but I did. And I loved that child. I will always love him. I never asked for that woman to control my life, to threaten me constantly... Why is it, Stefan, that I am the one who is always apologizing for the consequences of Cassadine terrorism? I'm always the one who looks bad, I'm always the one begging YOU for forgiveness. Well no more. I wanted to come here and celebrate with you our collective freedom. Ding, dong, the witch is dead, and I thought that after you got over the shock of seeing me, you would recognize that what I did was necessary. And we could celebrate together now, our freedom to live in peace, without secrets, with Nikolas and my mother, and a feud that was an ugly memory. ( she pauses... and says quietly) I thought we could be friends now. Happy. Honest. Sharing our love for Nikolas and the kindness that we once lavished on each other. Stefan's heart melts as he recognizes the optimism that he had always loved in her. A tear falls down his cheek. And then he remembers Nikolas, huddled on the floor in that shower stall, utterly destroyed by her deception. Was his nephew irreversibly wounded? Was this hardness, this callousness with which Nikolas wrapped up his torment, permanent? Stefan: Lasha... you can say how much you love your son all you want. But he is right, when a choice had to be made, you left him in the cold with your uncreative decision-making. You chose to deceive him instead of being honest. (he sees the question in her eyes: what else could I have done?) Yes, my mother was fear-inducing. That's understandable. But you forgot a crucial detail. I have the power in this family. I, too, knew that she was AWOL. I was handling it. That's why I took you to your mother. If you wanted to hide, I could have hidden you better than you've ever hidden. I could have protected you from her, as I always have. What you don't know is how many times I protected you and your family from her vengeance over the years. I have had to neutralize that woman over and over. She was frail and weak, near death, and wanted to instill fear in Spencer hearts just one last time. But she had no real power. And yet, by running, and abandoning Nikolas, putting us both through your "death," my mother did indeed win, didn't she? Because now Nikolas is becoming the man she always wanted him to be. And my love for you, which once burned her anger brightly, grows colder with every replay of my child's torment. (he notices the question in her eyes) Yes, my child, Laura. He was mine the day you left him in my care. And he was mine until the day you broke his heart for the last time. Now, he belongs to neither of us. Laura: You're saying I should have come to you? I should have come whining to you about your mother? Stefan: Such conversations comprise some of my most treasured memories. Laura: Well it was impossible. Luke discovered the danger before I did, and he set up the explosion and explained later. It was too late. Stefan: No, it wasn't too late, Lasha. It was too hard. It was too inconvenient for you to defy your husband's plans. After all, he went to all that trouble to set up the bomb. We wouldn't want to foil his grand scheme over something so trivial as your son's attachment to you. (He stops as she takes in his bitterness) I suppose this was all my fault, wasn't it? (he smiles coldly) I was the one who brought him here in the first place. I should have never let him near you. I should have let your little girl die. Laura's face softens as she meets his eyes through her tears, knowing full well that he didn't mean it. She knew that his love for her couldn't help but overcome whatever apathy he might have wished he had regarding Lulu's condition. They share in silence the understanding that wild horses couldn't have kept him from helping her. Laura: (she wipes her tears, and her wet hand takes his) You can't hate me as I can't hate you. No matter how we try. No matter how loudly the world screams at us to hate, you have always been my friend. You have never let me down. Stefan, who has tried not to look at her during her sentiment, feels his eyes magnetically drawn to hers, his heart breaking against his will. Stefan: You are my undoing, Lasha. You destroy me slowly, a rejection here, a betrayal there... (she looks down) Was it Job who said of God, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him"? You have taken all of me that is worth saving, in my own soul and in Nikolas, and trampled on it again and again. Yet will I love you. God forgive me. He casts a numb eye onto her, and turns, in a trance, to walk away. Laura grabs his hand as he is going and pulls herself to him. As her arms encircle his neck, Stefan closes his eyes, not wanting to embrace her. But his hands travel up her back and he hugs her so closely to him that she's lifted off her feet. Laura: (whispering, her breath hot in his ear) You can save him still, Stefan. I trust you. I always did. She kisses his cheek and runs away toward the boat, leaving him staring out at the water, her tears drying on his face. Stefan gathers his composure as the boat carrying Laura Spencer motors across the lake. Turning, he makes eye contact with the guard standing on the dock, and with a toss of his head, indicates for the guard to follow him up to the house. Standing inside the foyer, Stefan says to the man, Stefan: How old is my nephew? Guard: Um.. 16, sir. Or is he 17 already? Stefan does not answer the question. Stefan: (motioning into the parlor) I believe you left something in there. Please retrieve it before my stepson comes home. Don't bother returning to your shift. Your employment has been terminated. Stefan climbs the stairs, leaving the embarrassed former guard in his wake. Nikolas is sitting, reading the newspaper, his feet propped up on his desk, when Stefan approaches the doorway. Nikolas looks at him over the paper, but does not move. Nikolas: I was wondering when you'd show. (he casually turns the page) Stefan stands there a moment, looking at his nephew, pondering what approach to use. He decides. He walks over to Nikolas and grabs the newspaper, and throws it on the floor. Before Nikolas responds, Stefan swats the boy's feet off the desk, causing the swivel chair to spin outward, away from the desk. Nikolas opens his mouth to protest, but Stefan leans over his chair, placing his hands on each of the armrests so that he is face-to-face with his nephew. Stefan: When you behave like a criminal, so you shall be treated. Until further notice, you do not leave this room without permission. Stefan lets go of the chair and stands up to his full height. Nikolas: You can't control me. Stefan: Really? That's funny, because last time I checked, I was still the adult and you were most certainly still the child. Your little display of force today removed any question. Nikolas: (rising from the chair and walking past Stefan) I don't have to answer to you. I can go back to Greece if I want to. Stefan: Think carefully before you speak, brephos. Nikolas: I'm free to do as I please, Uncle. You are not my father and you don't get a vote. Stefan: This is not a democracy, Nikolas. Nikolas: (shouting) I don't give a damn! Stefan raises his arm and backhands his nephew across the face, just hard enough to get his attention without causing pain.. Stefan: You will NOT raise your voice to me, young man. (Nikolas is stunned, and angry tears spring to his eyes) Now sit down and hold your tongue. Nikolas sits down on his bed, looking like a young child all of a sudden, deflated, his lips more pouty than usual. Stefan, realizing that the power struggle is won, sighs heavily and sits on the bed. Stefan: Nikolas, you know that you are the only thing that matters to me in this world. If I could take away this day from your life, I would. (Nikolas wipes a tear that escaped down his cheek) I would give anything to spare you the pain you're feeling. Nikolas: What do you know about what I'm feeling? Stefan is silent for a moment. Then, he speaks very softly, Stefan: I wasn't exactly the favored son, either, Nikolas. (He notices that he's gotten Nikolas' attention) I know what it's like to wonder what I ever did to deserve my mother's scorn. Nikolas: And look what happened to you. You close yourself off from the world, Uncle. You marry a woman you don't love just so you don't have to let anyone in. I don't want to be like that. I get too lonely. Though Stefan knows he speaks the truth, Nikolas' words still hurt. He fights back tears. He needed to be strong right now. Stefan: My mother's actions have nothing to do with the choices I make about my relationships. You will not be bound by them either. You are free, Nikolas, to become the man that you want to be. A man that I never was, that your father never was, and his father before him. You will be different. As you always have been. Nikolas: I don't want to be different! I thought that, if we stayed in town, and she always saw me, at the hospital and all, that she would forget who I was and begin to love me. Stefan: (thinking of Katherine and her trust of him, not wanting to know his name) Any love that is born of ignorance, Nikolas, is only an illusion. You can not escape who you are, and love which pretends to not care is no love at all. Do you think that if only you could make her forget your name, she would accept you? You are better off without such conditional affection. Nikolas: You always warned me about this... you told me she wouldn't care. That she would hurt me. I tried not to care about her, Uncle, I did try. But... (he chokes) Stefan: (reaching his arm out and pulling Nikolas' head to his chest) I know. Mothers have a power over us that we never granted or asked for. It's a universal condition. A mother's words can make everything right in the world, and just as easily, plunge daggers into our hearts and twist for good measure. We are helpless against our need for their acceptance, Nikolas. (Nikolas cries quietly into his Uncle's shoulder) Shh... (he rocks slightly with his arms around the boy). There's nothing wrong with your feelings. You didn't fail me by caring about her... Nikolas: But you tried to make me see... Stefan: You forget that words are just words. In the shadow of emotions, they are barely audible. I didn't expect you to hide your heart away. Nikolas: She just seemed so sincere for a while, you know? Stefan: I know. She always seems sincere. Laura never lacks for good intentions. Nikolas: (pushing away from Stefan and sitting up) I can't believe I fell for it. Stefan: Everyone does, Nikolas. Nikolas: You didn't. Stefan: (quietly) But I did. I always do. (seeing the confusion in Nikolas, Stefan covers quickly for his confession) I wanted to believe the best, too, Nikolas. For your sake. They sit on the bed, quietly, each lost in his own thoughts, for a few minutes. When Nikolas seems sufficiently himself again, Stefan decides to approach the issue of his nephew's earlier behavior again. Stefan: Nikolas, it is perfectly acceptable to be hurting now. I love you, and I want you to feel safe expressing your feelings. But there are certain ways that you may not express those feelings. Nikolas: (trying to protest) Uncle - (Stefan raises his finger in a gesture that prohibits interruption) Stefan: The guard who supplied you with the gun no longer works for me. Nikolas: (guiltily) But - Stefan: Nikolas. That episode was utterly unacceptable. (Nikolas looks down) Nikolas: I wasn't going to do anything to her. I was merely making a point. Stefan: We do not use violence or the threat of violence to make points, Nikolas. Violence is the weapon of a weak mind. How many times do I have to tell you that power comes not through the use of force, but by being asked to lead? You command respect, not by controlling others, but by controlling yourself. I know that you are a "teenager" (he says the word with disdain) and American culture dictates that you are allowed to be surly and obnoxious. But you are a Cassadine, and Cassadines are not at the whim of cultural norms. You are smart enough to know by now that an offensive attitude will get you nowhere in life that you want to be. (Standing to go) To help you remember, you are still restricted to your suite until further notice. You may come downstairs to study with your tutors, to eat, and any other time I grant permission. Am I making myself clear? Nikolas: (under his breath) Crystal. Stefan: What was that? Nikolas: Yes, sir. Stefan: Good. Dr. Collins will arrive in a few hours. I'll send him up. You don't have to talk with him if you so choose, but you will be polite. I'm sure that if the time is unconstructive, he's smart enough to vacate in a timely manner. You might give him a chance, though. He has personal experience with.... shall we say... maternal issues. Nikolas doesn't really respond, but doesn't resist either. At the doorway, Stefan turns around to regard his nephew one more time. He walks back to Nikolas before he goes and, placing his hand on the back of his head, leans down and kisses his forehead, and leaves the room. HOME